8.21.2009

I Get High?


Stawberry Cough tastes mmm mmm good.

Okay I havent posted in mad long, the grind had me on lock down for awhile. Urrday im hustlin, nbd, naaamen. Anyway, I'm back and going to mainly post about music. I didn't think it was possible for a cover of this song to exist, succeed, and mix in an electro/dance vibe to it.

I Get High-Hostage : And I only smoke it if its purple or blue.

Oh Yeah (Booka Shade Remix) - Booka Shade is fucking too legit
If you don't recognize where this comes from, find a sharp metal object and sit on it. FERRIS!

P.S. The Red Sawx are a fuckin joke, sorry Shield.

8.12.2009

Edwin Van Cleef


Edwin Man Queef makes some good music. I have to say I like his remixes much more than his own original works because the latter all come off as a little too alike. Each original song seems comprised of a pretty basic, fast-paced intro and then gradual emergence of a chick repeatedly singing a simple phrase. Regardless, I enjoy listening to them. Here are some keepers:

ProCon - Delia (Edwin Van Cleef Remix)

Edwin Van Cleef - I Want You

Edwin Van Cleef - Lovin'

Edwin Van Cleef - Overtaken

DatA - Rapture (Edwin Van Cleef Remix)

Bat For Lashes - Daniel (Edwin Van Cleef Remix)

8.05.2009

A Matter of Time


A Mattter of Time - Mike Posner & the Brain Trust

This mixtape is by no means new, and you've probably heard a couple tracks (Cooler Than Me) but every track is tight as fuck. Bump this shit, run this shit.

Health Warning

While I don't like to rant about shit, these goddamn "health" drinks have taken it too far. They started off slow, but they have managed to take advantage of the all-of-a-sudden ridiculously health-conscious American populace, maybe even the world, and they are infringing on the greats. I'm talking about those stupid fruity drinks that pretend to be all healthy so people go bananas over them up even though they taste like ass.

First off, these drinks aren't even that healthy. Odwalla (cool name!) ran into serious problems when health officials determined that a 1996 E.Coli outbreak resulted from Odwalla's decision not to pasteurize their juices. Along those lines, a different pathogen that is known to severely affect pregnant women was discovered in an Odwalla plant in 1995. Vitamin water--which everyone goes gaga over nowadays even though Glacéau literally took Gatorade bottles, dumped out half, and then filled the rest up with tap water--is one of the worst things around for your teeth. You might as well just dump sugar in your mouth before you go to bed every night.


But see, the companies employ marketing strategies that people somehow fall for. They give the drinks pompous, unpronouncacble names so that people think they are made from some obscure super-healthy fruit, made in Europe, are fun to drink, or they just buy them because it looks healthy and the name disorients their brain (i.e. Glacéau, Odwalla, Fuze, Nakéd, Jamba Juice, etc.).

Or, in a similar move, they simply stick the word "smart" or some healthy word like "vitamin" or "mineral" onto it (i.e. Smartwater, Vitaminwater, Soy Smart, Fruitwater, P<3m) so that soccer moms and yoga instructors everywhere will think "Oh! Well that sounds like a perfect juicie for before my morning workout!" Fuze made a drink called Slenderize so naive fat people would buy tons of it and put on even more weight. Glaceau even had the audacity to stick "smart" on the front of a product, outright copying the move made over 10 years earlier by one of the best snack foods known to man. It's fucking cheese flavored popcorn!


The worst part is that these drinks are taking over. Don't think so? Which drink did you see all over the sidelines at March Madness games last spring? Vitaminwater. Not Gatorade, or Powerade, or anything like that, it was Vitaminwater. I went into a gas station today to buy a Gatorade for work and had to search high and low for it because I was blinded by a fucking huge Vitaminwater display that was set up like the drinks were artifacts or something. I swear managers see how many colors they can collect and cram into their shop, like the asswipe pictured above who collected so many he thought he'd take a walk on the wild side to turn it into a car. What a doucher. From the looks of it, that store can really only be in Alabama, Louisiana, or maybe New Jersey.

8.02.2009

She Moves Too Fast!



Amazing. Ejaculate (as a noun). Beautiful. Splended. Trippy. Surreal. Fuck Yes.

8.01.2009

We Are Not What You Think We Are

While Mika sounds like a bad version of the High School Musical cast, I have to thank him because his new single "We Are Golden" has been remixed by Calvin Harris and Don Diablo. I have a ton of respect for Don Diablo but I have to say that Calvin Harris takes the cake on this remix. Harris takes a corny British pop song and transforms it into something truly "golden". Here are both of the remixes but if you're only going to download one, go for Calvin.

"We Are Golden (Calvin Harris Remix)" - Mika

"We Are Golden (Don Diablo Remix)" - Mika

7.29.2009

Happy Birthday Tom Green

Today is Tom Green's birthday, which is definitely cause for a celebration/post. He's done so much ridiculous shit I don't even know where to begin. Everyone has seen Freddy Got Fingered, "The Bum Bum Song", his show, etc. Apparently he currently hosts an internet talk show called Tom Green's House Tonight...yikes. Unbeknownst to many, he was a member of a rap group called Organized Rhyme, and he actually has some decent rapping skills. Happy Birthday Gord!

Tom Green in Stealing Harvard, though he isn't acting:



Honorable Mention Birthdays: Henry Ford, Buddy Guy, Ahnald Schwarzenegger, Christopher Nolan, Markus Naslund, Kevin Pittsnogle, Laurence Fishburne.

Thunderstruck

I saw AC/DC last night at Gillette Stadium, home of the soon-to-be World Champion New England Patriots, and it was an absolutely amazing show. They didn't miss a beat, despite the fact that all the members are at least in their mid-50s. Brian Johnson sounds exactly the same and he's over 60.


Angus Young is fucking crazy. Here's a video showing part of his 20+ minute solo from last night. This video is far from doing it justice because it's somewhat poor quality; omits the part where he falls to the ground and plays while spinning around; captures only about a third of the solo; and doesn't include the end where he excellently parlays into the next song. If a better video surfaces soon, which will probably happen, I'll make sure to throw it up. Regardless:

Fuck tha Police!


I don't know how many people avidly read their town police log but I always have because my town's blotter is consistently chock-full of ridiculous entries. About a year ago a terrified woman called the cops to state she had just seen God sprinting through her backyard. The most ridiculous aspect of this story is I guarantee you that instead of consoling this obviously insane and probably elderly lady, my local police were most likely out there in the woods clutching flashlights and rosary beads and calling for God like he'd built a lean-to or something.

The Clash - Police & Thieves
Radiohead - Karma Police
Radiohead - Karma Police (Live)
The Police - So Lonely


Anyway, I was reading the police log a while ago and came across an item that is utterly outrageous. You may not care about my town's police escapades, but you should read this from a legal standpoint as a law abiding citizen or potential fowl hassler in the USA. Here is the entry verbatim:

"Thursday, July 9, 3:32 p.m.: a Nagog Square caller reported four youths chasing geese in the parking lot. Police spoke to the fowl hassling youths."

Let me first say that for anyone who's been living under a rock, "fowl hassling" is a new activity that's just been running rampant up here in the northeastern United States. You can also probably accurately imagine the kind of people that live in the part of my town called Nagog Square. They were probably making crafts out of twigs and sap and shit like that when they spotted said fowl hasslers. Anyway, I have several qualms with this particular story.

1. These kids were most likely in the middle of a workout. Anyone who's anyone knows that chicken chasing was an integral part of Rocky Balboa's training regimen when he came back to beat Apollo Creed in Rocky 2. Who could forget Stallone's kneeslapper: "I feel like a Kentucky Fried idiot?" But now Johnny Long Legs, Billy Elliot, and the Hardy boys won't make the high school basketball team and score all the chicks because Officer Choda decided their futures were less promising than those of the geese.


2. That brings me to my next point: the victims were Geese. I could see the fuzz maybe going in if the kids were throwing rocks at doves or something, but it was fucking geese. In terms of things I'd look out for the well-being of, Geese are just above Pigeons which are just above dirt, possibly below. Geese do three things: walk around, shit, and honk--the sum of which equals shit everywhere, reminiscence of Skeeter from Doug and an incredibly annoying sound. My Grandpa used to take me golfing and we'd chase after them in the carts. By the looks of things you'd probably end up in jail if you pulled that shit nowadays.

"Wanna hear the most annoying sound in the world?"



3. Said offense took place in a parking lot, not the road or any other dangerous place, and taxpayer money is being used to fund the disbandment of local fowl hasslers, who are doing a service to the community if anything.

4. A group of Geese is aptly called a gaggle. Larks are an ascension (or exaltation), lions are a pride, owls are a parliament, etc. These are worthy names. No one should ever intrude (safety reasons aside), on an exaltation, pride, or parliament. On the other hand, a gaggle sounds like some weird sex toy or a sound someone utters right before kicking the bucket.

An alternate gaggle:






5. Times are tough. The kids might have been chasing the geese in hopes of getting some food for later. Hell some dude in the same blotter got arrested for dumpster diving. I'm not really sure what that means.

Here's some music because writing this article without some free music at the end is like knitting someone a stocking for Christmas and then putting nothing in it. As N.W.A. put it, Fuck Tha Police.

N.W.A. - Straight Outta Compton (Album)

7.27.2009

Things I Love


The Pull-Through Parking Spot

So you've woken up in a daze after a night of drinking only to realize that you're needed at work in half an hour. After scrambling to get ready and grabbing a rancid breakfast bar on your way out the door, you run into bumper-to-bumper traffic due to none other than a bunch of rubberneckers (something I hate). As you try and sip your coffee, God throws a bump in the road (literally) and that tasty Colombian Ex-Lax burns the bejesus out of your tongue. Life could not get worse. You finally pull into the parking lot and your heart skips a beat. There is a pull-through parking spot that leaves your car in the first row next to the building. While you still have eight hours of an excruciating headache, due to your hangover and boredom, ahead of you, you know that at the end of the day you'll turn on your car and already be on your way home.

Epiphanies

One day, you're walking along the street, whistling your favorite tune, daydreaming about that hot mo...torcycle driving by, and it just hits you. The flip switches and the light bulb goes on. You all of a sudden know for a fact that God exists or that destiny is leading your way or any of those things that nobody actually knows for a fact. Nonetheless, you are absolutely positive and for the rest of the day (week, year?) you've got that shit-eating grin on your face. Of course, these epiphanies are rare. You've also got those amazing little discoveries in your mind that happen more frequently. You know what I'm talking about. You're itching your balls and all of a sudden remember the name of that actress who was in that movie you and your friends were talking about five days ago. Remember how pissed off you were that you couldn't remember her name? Remember how awesome it was when the name finally came to you? Yea, I love that.

Frankmusik

"Confusion Girl" is still the best song that's come out this summer. This one isn't bad either:

"Wrong Time, Wrong Place" - Frankmusik & Tinchy Stryder

7.24.2009

Blueprint 3



First track off the Blueprint 3. Kanye may be a bitch and a sell out, but Jay has still got that ill flow and this track is pretty tight:

Run This Town-Jay Z Feat. Kanye West and Rihanna


"I love putting fish sticks in my mouth."

7.22.2009

Most Everyone's Mad Here


Mark your calendars. On March 5, 2010, Alice in Wonderland will be released in theaters. As it is likely the most psychedelic children's tale of all time, I'm thrilled that it will be available in IMAX 3D (stack up on supplies at your nearest Phish show). I'm also thrilled that it is directed by Tim Burton and starring Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter, as it's one of the craziest kid's stories of all time. The story's a classic, the visuals look amazing, and the cast (even aside from Depp) is grade-A so remember...

Don't be late, for this very important date.

7.20.2009

The Real LT Stands Up


Apparently, former NFL stud and the greatest linebacker of all time could give two shits whether or not anyone in the NFL can touch his swag. The ex-freebaser told the radio station KLAC in LA that "I don’t really mess with football anymore. That’s an era of my life that has passed. A lot of the guys will sit there and live football. Every Sunday they’re glued to the t.v. watching football. I don’t watch football. I’d rather watch two people fuck"

This man is simply bad ass. Aside from Mike Tyson and Ray Lewis, there aren't too many guys I'd rather fuck wid.

The best there ever was:


That's G



I love all things Gangster. I love all things Euro. This is both. Amen. Looks like it could be better than Public Enemies (although I hear that is not saying much)

*Additionally, I spoke too soon about the Erin Andrews video. The full four minute one is pretty awesome. As for all the theories about whether or not it was leaked...It seems like a pretty strange coincidence that it would be leaked a) just 3 days before the ESPY's b) by ESPN and c) months after it was shot. Seems unlikely that Andrews did not know about it. Regardless, keep doing whatever you're doing Erin.

Despicable Me

Saw the trailer for this when I was at the theater earlier tonight. Looks just okay but the cast is fucking stacked so I'm gonna have to see it. It's got Steve Carrell, Ken Jeong, Jason Segel, Danny McBride, Will Arnett, Russell Brand, Jemaine Clement (Jemaine from Flight of the Conchords), and Mindy Kaling. Comes out about a year from now.

7.19.2009

I'd Let Her Touch My Wand


A few thoughts before I hit you with some jamz.

1. I caught HP6 on Friday, and had very mixed feelings about it. While it did not blow my mind, it was certainly one of the better films from the franchise and set up the finale very well. Not enough quiddich or Cho Chung for me. The real highlights of the film were Hermione and Ginny-babies got back. After hearing a friend recently rattle of Emma Watson's Wikipedia page (she's deciding between Trinity and Yale, fyi), I must agree that she has got it all going on.

2. The Erin Andrews peep hole video isn't that sweet. You can kind of tell it's her. You can kind of see her ass. She needs to enter the sex tape realm, preferably with someone like Visante Shiancboner or Julio "Batbag" Lugo*.

3. Good way to start off the second half of the season for the Yanks but a) the Tigers aren't that legit b) I still don't trust Joba and need to see him be consistent, and c) Hughes is the biggest reason for them being 17 games over .500. Without him, the Red Sox bullpen would shatter us.

*Lugo is known as "Batbag" in clubhouses because that's what is allegedly needed to conceal his schlong.

Fred Falke is the fucking truth. It's 8:08 P.M. on the beach somewhere.

When We're Together - Morjac & Fred Falke Feat. Sarah Tyler

Make You Mine - Miami Horror (Fred Falke Remix) (Right Click, Save As)

vVv

This video is to a remix of one of my favorite tunes. I don't really understand why whoever produced this video went in this direction, but I'm preeettyyy cool with it. Hot hot hot:



Blinded by the Dopeness.

7.16.2009

Fixin To Thrill


I usually wait to post music until I have at least a couple songs to toss up. That being said, I'm too excited by this recent find to wait. We haven't heard from Dragonette in a while. For those of you at Colgate, you definitely remember the many Dragonette jams we listened to over and over again this past fall. Some include "I Get Around", "Competition", and "Take It Like A Man". Needless to say, "Fixin To Thrill" is another banger coming off their upcoming album also titled Fixin To Thrill. The album is expected to be released in either August or September and, after hearing this song, I cannot wait to hear it.

"Fixin To Thrill" - Dragonette

7.15.2009

Bryce Harper is a BEAST

This kid is scary. Legit. He was on the cover of SI a few weeks ago, and I was fortunate enough to read about him. Essentially, he's been a mercenary little leaguer for over five years, getting free vacations to play baseball all over the country with and against older kids. He can play any position, throws in the mid 90s, and casually picks off runners from his knees. Instead of going to High School, the would be junior is going to play a year at a County College in his hometown of Las Vegas, and then be the first overall pick in the 2010 draft. Now batting 3rd for your 2020 New York Yankees, Pitcher, Catcher, and Short Stop: Bryce Harper (scroll to 3 minute mark to watch 500 foot BOMB):

I Smoked a Basilisk and I'll Smoke You Too


HP6 premiered at Midnight last night (made 20 mill). It's getting unreal reviews and looks like it's going to be pretty ill from the clips I've seen. Kind of pissed I didn't go last night to see people dress up like the Hogwarts clan...But this is prrretttty gooood (got it from slashfilm):

Sloooooooooan


I have found my soul mate. She's back on Entourage, and damn it feels good. She's Canadian, Jewish, and loves younger men. So maybe I made that last part up, but I want to marry Emmanuelle Chriqui (even her name is sexy and exotic). She's by far the best aspect of Entourage at this point, and is like a fine wine (yeah, she gets hotter with age, now 32). Turtle can have all the bubble baths in the world with Jamie-Lynn. Sloan is the Bomb.Com. Someone needs to figure this out and get her on the big screen in some legit roles. Emmanuelle Chriqui>Meghan Fox (looks and acting).

I liked Alexi Lalas more when he was on the green train:

7.14.2009

Barton Fink Funks You Up


"Nobody fucks with the Jesus." Nobody. John Turturro is one of my favorite actors. He's complete: knows how to play an absurd caricature (the Jesus), a smooth douchebag (Rounders), and a desperate scumbag (Miller's Crossing). He really has the uncanny to not only play any role, but play it well. And in perhaps his best role, Turturro transforms himself into one Barton Fink (which I finally just saw), a talented playwrite who goes to Hollywood to try his luck with screen writing. This Coen brother masterpiece was written in a short, three week span during which they suffered from writer's block attempting to write Miller's Crossing. The result: a masterpiece on par with the best of the Coen Brothers. The film is a dark, satirical, and brilliant look into both the depths of a man's mind and Hollywood (as it was back then). I like throwback flicks (particularly in today's blockbuster day and age), and this certainly fits the bill. It's the bdc, check it:



Oh yeah. Monk's in it too. And he's pretty damn funny.

LA CONFIDENTIAL

Believe it or not, behind all the incredibly high weekend gross numbers that you see on rottentomatoes or moviefone or whatever, Hollywood is in a sad state. And you may not have known it by how well the movies are doing that are currently out. But behind the huge profit margins of Transformers 2 or Bruno or the ever-so-cute-and-funny romantic comedy, The Proposal, you will see the realistic truth. Hollywood is only making films that they absolutely know will make money. It's why there are so many sequels being made, it's why there are so many blockbuster, big budget, blow em up films being made. Because in the end, middle America and the South, will basically pay 12 dollars a ticket to go see anything where bombs explode and hot chicks show some cleavage (see Meghan Fox in Transformers 2). And this goes way beyond the recession in the economy and the lack of investors who usually help patron small, independent films. It has to do with marketing and the current, extremely outdated distribution system of Hollywood. Right now, a movie gets made and most often it premieres nationally, all across America. This is very much outdated. With companies like NetFlix, who have compiled research over the past decade to show that certain zip codes order certain certain movies, even certain genres, the future of Hollywood distribution is targeted, selective distribution. Within the next ten years, you'll start seeing movies only be released in certain movie theaters, in certain towns. This will bring a wave of criticism regarding racial profiling and stereotypes, but in the end, Hollywood will claim what every business does when it comes to marketing--1). everyone else does it, 2). numbers talk.
Let's be honest, Anne's Hathaway's recent independent film, Rachel Getting Married, a film about a rich, white girl who ends up becoming an alcoholic, a role that got her nominated for best supporting actress, wouldn't do as well in Newark, NJ as it might in Chatham, NJ. Just as Friday or everyone of their sequels would have done better in Newark, NJ than Chatham, NJ.
Thus, why even distribute the film to an area whose audience would prefer a different film? Why waste that money? With modern technology and the influx of Ondemand and various other at-home ordering/viewing capabilities, the people who may have wanted to watch Anne Hathaway slur over her wedding toast and the people who wanted to watch Chris Tucker and Ice Cube smoke weed, can do so with ease and not cost Hollywood production companies millions in distribution fees.
I for one can't wait for this to happen because a few more summers of shitty, over budget, under developed films like The Proposal, Transformers 2, and Terminator 3 as the only options at the theatre, and I may have to pick up a new hobby. Maybe cycling...

7.13.2009

Things I Hate


Cyclists

Ever since Lance Armstrong (more on him later) lost his right nut, cycling has become the thing to do. I'm sorry, I seem to have lost the memo that said dressing up like Richard Simmons, wearing yellow bracelets, and taking up half the road was what all the cool kids were doing. Maybe it'd be alright if you didn't pretentiously refer to your exercise as cycling. You're not racing through the French Alps. You're riding a fucking bike in middle of Main Street. I beg you to get off the roads. Sidewalks were made for a reason.

Twitter

What is this world coming to? I turn on SportsCenter to catch up on highlights and the next thing I know, Stuart Scott is reading Dwight Howard's latest "Tweet". Maybe I'm just turning into my parents thirty years too early by rejecting new technology, but what's the deal with Twitter? Why the fuck should I care what music Lance Armstrong is listening to? Go take some more steroids, win your bazillionth Tour de France, and shut the hell up. Yea, you say that Facebook's just as weird and creepy. False. I know the people I'm friends with on Facebook and might actually be interested in what they're doing. I could care less what John McCain (yes, he has a Twitter) is bitching about next. Andy Milonakis knows what's up.

Could You Get It Up For...


MICHELLE WIE


Many blogs feature a question of the week or day. Here's what I've come up with. Female sports are pretty weak sauce all around. I'd rather lick my dog's anus (TASTY) then watch a WNBA game. But that's besides the point. The point is this: there are a lot of, shall I say, questionable women out there in the sports stratosphere. We'd all like to give it to Natalie Gulbis, obviously, but what about the other female athletes out there. The one's who, for all their athletic prowess, look, well, ordinary. This isn't a question of whether or not you'd go on a date with one of these athletes or if you'd marry her (for that chedda). The question is this: Could you get it up? aka Would you give it to this ay babay. First up: Michelle Wie.

Pros: Known for her light touch and gentle hands. Can handle clubs of all shapes and sizes. Has Asian roots. Inexperienced off the course (if you know what im sayin'). Knows how to get the ball in the hole. Long, long legs.

Cons: Has a nerdy lisp (who knows what this could transform to in the sack). Has Asian roots. Father keeps close watch of her. Very tall. Only 19 years old (will most likely be sober). Goes to Stanford.

I know my answer, but that's my dirty little secret. What do you think? Could you get it up for Michelle Wie?


Anthony Bourdain Is A Fucking OG


And he smoked that Kush. Food, booze, sexual innuendo, and a little of that herb sprinkled in, Bourdain's show, and my fav! "No Reservations," has got The Full Monty, so to speak. One episode shows Bourdain gettin lit with the rastafarians of Jamaica. BAMBA CLAT! Another episode shows him eating sheep's testicles in Morocco. There is, however, one constant: this show is straight comedy. Bourdain is a major-league wise ass who has no qualms about tearing Rachel Ray a new asshole while chain smoking heaters on national TV. Bourdain puts a light, endearing spin on food, the world, and life. He doesn't try to pretend to be some high class D-Bag who knows more about food than you. This man recognizes the realness, and then keeps it real all the time. This isn't a show about cooking, dawg, this is a show about life. Tonight's season premiere kicks things off in Chile (on the Travel Channel at 10). Parental Discretion IS Advised:



"Whoa Hombre! That is twelve freakin' inches of floppy clown shoe right there!"

"Lloyd, your love of cock is a huge asset to this company."



5 Quick Thoughts About Entourage's Season Premiere (if you didn't watch, peace the fuck out):

1. Last night's episode didn't blow my mind. However, in my burnt out state, the fact that it kept me awake was impressive. While the show certainly has its flaws (repetitive, Adrian Grenier can't act, etc.), it is still addicting as fuck. No matter what, you just find yourself saying, "damn, that looks aiiight, lemme get some of that shit." As in, I want to be rich, famous, in the sun, and in a hot tub with Jamie-Lynn Sigler.

2. The Lloyd subplot (becoming an agent) is a great move by the show's powers at be. Ari has always been the showstopper, the reason people really watch this show. And Lloyd has been one of the main reasons for this. Everyone loves a gay Chinese dude who dresses like Ralph Lauren. Big ups to Lloyd.

3. Not enough Ganja. Turtle is still Turtle. Coming from a lover of the leaf, the plant rules over pussy. No matter how good a ZJ Jamie-Lynn may give, one of the reasons people tune into this show is to watch Turtle ripping bongs with Bob Saget and acting like that friend that everyone has (you know, the one who asks too much questions, scares girls away, and always has that chronic...) Sound familiar? It's cool (although unrealistic) that Turtle's scorin big time, but don't ruin his character for the sake of some poonani. Please.

4. More Drama. Last night's episode didn't have enough Johnny Drama in it for me. Less Vince, more Drama. The show is called Entourage for a reason. It's magic is about the funny, quirky shit that goes on behind the scenes in Hollywood. We know Vince is gonna bang out chicks in cars and do whatever the fuck he wants. We never know what the fuck Johnny's going to say or do next.

5. Sloane is still a babe. Putting Sloane back into the mix is a power move. She's bonafied bangin, and adds a little bit of seriousness to the show. The message seems to be: is it possible to grow up in Hollywood. And I think this season is going to keep exploring that, to some extent, while hopefully keeping the laughter flowing with more of the above.

This song is fucking bangin':

Friendly Fires - Jump In the Pool (Thin White Duke Remix)


Classic Ari:

7.12.2009

Shutter Island

Scorsese. DiCaprio. Mark Ruffalo and Ben Kingsley. Filmed in Boston Harbor. Dope.



Tell me what you think--I feel like it has some potential.

7.10.2009

Em's Still Got It

Quick post. I just came across this video of Eminem freestyling on Tim Westwood's radio station in England. Fucking fire. Excluding the first verse, this is without a doubt one of the best live freestyles I've ever seen. Maybe the best. Make sure to watch the whole video because it really picks up from the beginning:



Good to see Eminem still has it.

Sleepyhead


In recent years, I've had trouble falling asleep when I'm sober, and many of my colleagues and peers have intimated that they too have experienced this unfortunate phenomenon in their own lives . Frankly, I think that for many of us continually going to bed--whether that be on an actual mattress or somewhere else like the floor--drunk and high has rendered it difficult to fall asleep when sober. I don't know--maybe I'm stressed out, maybe that latex paint at work is getting to my head, maybe it's the soft mattress, midnight rape, or nude gay art show that took place in my room last night, but either way, I have my theory and I'm sticking to it. As such, I'm going to recommend some stuff that I think does the trick. Consider it a public service. Here goes, in no particular order:

1. Watch an episode of Bob Ross: The Joy of Painting. If you didn't watch the Joy of Painting growing up, you are a) in a minority and b) missed out on a special part of life. Though he's pretty fucking creepy and sports what looks like a giant collection of pubic hairs on his head, you have to love his show and it will for damn sure make you nod off. His DVDs are about $20 on eBay and feature such paintings as 'Reflections of Calm,' 'Before the Snowfall,' and 'Tranquility Cove.' Those titles alone are enough to make one pass out. Given the price, I would probably recommend this to someone who has serious problems falling asleep at night. R.I.P Bob Ross. Here's an excellent parody of the Joy of Painting to tide you over:



2. Find that friend of yours that is downright awful at telling stories and pick his brain for a while. You know you have that friend, everybody does, it's no big deal. They are an amazing friend, have things in common with you, etc., but they just flat out suck at telling stories. The subject matter might not even be that bad, but the delivery is off and you feel like finding a pillow and blanket halfway through.

3. Read anything by Jane Austen. Reading Jane Austen is just like eating cucumber sandwiches: high-class, pompous people go gaga over it; you know exactly what you're getting; and it's boring as hell. Go read the first line of the definition of a "traditional" cucumber sandwich on Wikipedia (as if hundreds of varieties have been invented since) and tell me some rich, pompous French dude didn't write that. I'll even include the link for you. Do it. Don't get me wrong, Jane Austen is a seriously talented writer, probably one of the best ever in terms of literary skill. But honestly, reading her books is one of the most boring activities (is that even an appropriate word?) I've ever come across in my life, right up there with staring at a wall, watching people play FIFA, or maybe sleeping itself. Peruse one of these babies and before you know it those riveting tales of early 19th century virgins and their love lives and miserable chores and dainty dinner parties and handkerchiefs and...you get the point.

4. Listen to classical music. I love classical music. There's no better time to listen to it then when you're going to bed or doing schoolwork. Here's an album I got this past winter off Drake's blog that I really like listening to as I hit the hay:

Gonzalez - Solo Piano

5. Watch a kickball game. And by kickball I mean that sport that everyone in the US loves all of a sudden because of this huge effort to become more European. Yeah, Europe's fucking awesome, soccer jerseys are cool, and the MLB sucks now, but that doesn't mean we have to go abandoning the great games our forefathers laid down for us. Stop pretending to love soccer so much, wearing European clothing, stuffing yourself with brie and pinot grigio, and go toss the pigskin around out in the backyard; it'll do you good. Shotgun a beer and grill a steak while you're at it.

6. Smoke weed.

Well those are just a few of the advantages one has at his or her disposable when it's time to get some shut-eye. If I think of any more dandies, I'll make another post, but this is it for now. Maybe you even fell asleep reading this.


p.s. Cucumber sandwiches reminded me of Oscar Wilde's The Importance of Being Earnest (they frequently eat them in the play), which is one of the most hilarious plays I've ever read. It's a great work and I highly suggest picking it up.

Please feel free to leave any techniques you use in the comments section as I'm constantly looking for new ways to fall asleep. Have a great weekend. Peace!

7.09.2009

I'd Touch These Movies

Embroidered Bad Mother Fucker Leather Wallet

Even in a shitty economy, people still go to the movies. Escapism and all that shit. There might not be as many being made, as my LA brotha tells me, but there's certainly enough to go around. There's a ton of tight movies that have been and are going to be coming out soon that I'm pumped to see (particularly Harry Potter 6 baaaby). Here are three trailers that look absolutely absurd, in all the right kind of ways.

Tarantino is simply a boss. I'm sure you've seen a trailer for this movie, Inglorious Basterds, but this one is waay more Euro (and fucking crazier). This is what Quentin's all about:



Anything that involves the killa combo of Jon Favreau and Vince Vaughn is worthwhile in my book. Swingers and Made (if you don't know, figure it out and see them), are the fucking truth, and this movie definitely has some potential, at least for some good laughs. Cross between Along Came Polly and Knocked Up:



This looks fucking amazing, and looks like it could start a huge comeback? for Robin Williams. I've never gone crazy over his bizarre, different style of comedy, but he's certainly a talented actor and usually in pretty legit movies. This looks too legit to quit:



None of these are brand, brand new shit, but I had to do some catching up the past couple of days, and these are three of the more intriguing trailers I caught. Definitely got these three on the backburner. Will try to post more, shits been real busy lately. Hollaaaa.

7.07.2009

Mr. Wang Hung: The Barcelona Naked Man



Every now and then one comes across something particularly entertaining. In Barcelona, where topless tanning on the beach is the norm, this past month I’ve come across a lot of gems. I’ve seen tits of every shape, size and ethnicity. I’ve experienced what they call the good, the bad, and even the ugly. One day on the beach we saw a human fembot with orangutan nipples that must have been literally about an inch and a half long. Another day, I saw what must have been a 90 year old women whose boobs literally touched her belly button. Apart from the freak nipples and super saggy boobs, I’ve also seen some dimes. However, in terms of drawing the attention of the eye, nothing compares to what I saw last week.

While leaving the beach one day, walking on the path back to the subway, I passed something that I couldn’t help but gawk at—an old man walking around completely naked. Not only was this guy completely naked, but he was all inked up. The guy, who we’ll call Mr. Wang Hung for the all intensive purposes of this post, had a wide array of tatts, including a pair of navy blue underpants, an FC Barcelona shield and some other strange shit. Perhaps most shocking of all though, is that the guy, who I must again stress is an old man, is hung like a stallion. No wonder he walks around naked. He must be as proud as a lion, literally.

To my dismay, I didn’t happen to have my camera with me, and thus was unable to take a picture of this out of the ordinary sight. Luckily for me, last night on the way to dinner, I passed the man again on the street and was able to get a few shots. In light of this by-chance sighting, there are a few topics of discussion that I want to pose for this week.

First of all, is it really that strange that this man chooses to walk around naked? While you and I are constrained in our daily lives by the restrictions of undergarments and other clothing, he is out there enjoying himself commando style, dangling his willy around as free as the whispering wind—and believe me, this guy could do the meat-spin like a frickin’ helicopter if he wanted, his dick hangs low, it wobbles to and fro’ he can tie it in a knot, he can tie it in a bow… which brings me to my next point. This guy should be proud. For a white guy, he has one of the biggest willys that I’ve ever seen. Maybe he’s just putting himself out there, advertising, you know? Him walking around the city naked with that huge dong out has got to be way more effective than using a website like match.com, the only thing he’s missing is a tattoo of his phone number so that women can contact him.

Some people might argue that it’s not practical to walk around naked. They might ask something like, “where does he keep his belongings, like wallet and cell phone?” But believe me, this guy has got everything he needs. He has a watch to tell time, and shoes and socks so that his feet don’t get dirty, and a small black plastic bag for everything else he needs. Pockets? Who fucking needs them. This guys got it down to a fuckin' T. Also, I should note that there are no laws against nudity in Barcelona, what this man is doing is completely legal. In some ways, Mr. Wang Hung, the Barcelona Naked Man, has become part of the city, a living, breathing, walking monument, and a testament to the liberal atmosphere of Barcelona. Mr. Wang Hung, I salute you and the life you choose to live.


7.05.2009

The Girl From Ipanema

Hope everyone enjoyed themselves this weekend. The weather couldn't have been better to celebrate America's birthday. First off, just a couple thoughts on the current state of sports. As much as it pains me to say it, congratulations to Roger Federer. Today's Wimbledon match was one for the ages. Andy Roddick played his tail off and has nothing to be ashamed of (except for missing that backhand volley that would've put him up two sets to love). But seriously, great performances from both guys and, even though I was rooting for Randy the Rocket, we can now say that Roger is the best of all time. With Rafa hopefully coming back, the G.O.A.T., Andy Murray, and Roddick with his new-found game, I am certainly looking forward to the U.S. Open.

Don't look now, but the Yankees are currently on a tear. Ever since Girardi got thrown out in Atlanta, the Bombers have not stopped hitting. Even following a forgetful start from Joba today, the Yankees were able to pull out a 10-8 win. With the All Star break coming up, it certainly looks like AL East will come down to the wire come the end of September. Finally, I'd just like to say that Air McNair will be missed. We will never forget the drive to end Super Bowl XXXIV in which you almost took down the high-powered Rams, as well as the countless games you played when you probably should've been in the trainer's room.

Now just a little bit of Shinichi for you. I just found a mix that he made called "Sounds of Summer '09". This guy truly is an all around talent. I downloaded the mix expecting some fiery electro but instead found a soothing blend of guitar that would fit an afternoon on the beach perfectly. As the title alludes to, just think of a modern day version of "The Girl From Ipanema" that lasts for just over an hour.

"Sounds of Summer '09" - Shinichi Osawa

Also from Shinichi is a new remix. This song is what you'd expect from an Osawa electro song. Pure fire.

"Thief (Shinichi Osawa Remix) - Lost Valentinos

7.03.2009

That Was Such a Samantha Thing To Sayyy!

I figured I'd get away from the music for a while and get you guys pumped for some new movies coming out. I must say that I've been lacking on keeping up with the latest cinema. I still haven't seen Up, Whatever Works, or Public Enemies (I know it just came out, but still). I'm not at all interested in sitting through two and half hours of Michael Bay jizzing on his own face at "how AWESOME my special effects are!" The only movie of interest that I have seen this summer is The Hangover, and it did not disappoint in the least. Here are some upcoming films that I'm really excited about.

Bruno

I don't really have to say much to create hype about this movie. It's already everywhere. I mean, after you make a movie as successful as Borat, Baron Cohen could hide in a hole (hopefully one that gets filled with dirt) and Bruno would still be the highest grossing movie on its opening weekend. Make sure you see this on July 10 when it comes out so that you're the one ruining the best jokes and annoying the shit out of everyone by quoting the movie and not the other way around.



Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

Coming out a week later than Bruno is the next installment of the Harry Potter series. Yes, I have read all seven books and yes, I was 19 when I read the last one. Maybe I'm a tool, but even if you think only Bruno would read Harry Potter as a grown man, you still need to see this movie. The sixth installment of the series, The Half-Blood Prince continues the trend of the movies getting darker and darker. This movie dives deep into the past of He Who Shall Not Be Named. You can't get too much darker than that, except maybe in the jungles of Congo. Nonetheless, this movie should be the tits and even if you don't like the story, just find some of that wizard grass and enjoy the stunning visuals.



Funny People

Coming out on July 31 is the third movie directed by Judd Apatow, the king of creating comedies in the 2000s, after The 40 Year Old Virgin and Knocked Up. Think of any movie that you've laughed at in the past five years and Judd Apatow has probably played some role in its coming to the screen. For Funny People, Apatow directed, produced, and wrote the movie, so it's all on him if it bombs. Lucky for him, Adam Sandler has supposedly put out his first legitimate comedic performance since Big Daddy. Mix Apatow and Sandler with Seth Rogen, Jonah Hill, and numerous others (even Eric Bana?), and we should be in for one of the funniest movies of the summer. The only thing that causes some concern is that Apatow describes this as a "very serious movie." Luckily he follows that up by saying that he's trying to make it "twice as funny as my other movies." Hey, even if it's barely as funny as his other movies, we're in for a treat.



Finally, I'll throw in some funny clips that I recently found on the web that I think are just too funny not to include in this post. First is some douche trying to give his speech as Best Man at his friends wedding. If you've ever been nervous about giving a speech, at first you'll sympathize with this guy. Then you'll realize that he's a complete ass who didn't think of anything beforehand to say. It's literally like someone pulled him off the street, threw a tux on him, and told him to toast some random dude's wedding.



This next video is some chick who's so hammered she falls over and nails her head on a dresser. Sounds lame but I guarantee you'll be laughing. These videos never get old.


EMBED-Drunk Girl Smashes Her Face - Watch more free videos

7.02.2009

Best Party Ever?

poolpartiesflyer


Just caught this link from http://coedmagazine.com . If you know whats up, August 9th and August 23rd are dates to keep in your head, because Simian Mobile Disco, Girl Talk, and my man Wiz Khalifa are the fucking truth. And, of course, it's free. And the Jew in me loves all things free.

Here's some Simian V. Justice to get you in the mood. Where's yoooouur heeead at:


Swish.

Best Celebration Ever!!!



Michael Vick Style yo. This puts T.O. and Ocho Cinco's "celebrations" to shame. I would love to see an NFL team try this out next year. I think the most fitting example of this could be after a touchdown by say, Wes Welker, Randy Moss got behind him and threw a little thrust action his way. Not only would this scene be a great re-enactment of what occurs daily in jails across the nation, but would also prove that, yes, everyone *male or female) in Boston takes it in the butt.

Lots of Pussies Whistlin'



Rising star Drizzy Drake just drops it like its hawt in this fresh video. This music video is essentially a modern, thugged out adaptation of A League of Their Own. And Drake probably flicked a few more of these classy ladies' beans than Tom Hanks did. The noice tittays bouncin up and down and the cheesy interludes make for one of the hotter and better music videos of recent memory. Kobe would certainly give Drake daps on this one, and sure as shit wouldn't mind teaching these chicas a few stretches of his own. You know, the one called smydorgetthefuckout.

Shout out to the thrilla SMilla for this one.

6.30.2009

The Spawn of Renaldo Frye


I'm Jordan Hill Bitch!

Meet Jordan Hill (middle). Jordan Hill is your newest New York Knick. He also looks like what would happen if former Knick first round picks Renaldo Balkman and Channing Frye re-enacted a scene from Brokeback Mountain. Hopefully, Hill's career will turn out a little better than these two legendary Knicks. Morelikely he'll go the Balkman rout and decide he'd like to spend more time with Sour Diesel and Mr. Grey Goose than in the paint with Dwight Howard. Or he could Frye it up and think more about what his next blog post should be rather than trying to get a rebound. The Knicks have drafted a man with the same barber as Renaldo Balkman, and a man with the same pedigree as the great Channing Frye (also the Knicks' last number 8 pick). The best big man to ever come from Arizona: Sean Rooks. Nice. So while the Knicks may have, for now, failed to land the floppy haired wunderkind from Spain, Hill certainly ups the amount of ink in their locker room (watch out Wilson Chandler), adds a guy that has the same haircut as Rick James, and probably had a tough time beating Robert Dozier's SAT scores. While cautiously optimistic that he can play in the NBA, Hill may end up to be the next Amare Stoudemire--or (more likely) the next Renaldo Frye.

He must not succumb to his weaknesses:

"A player in the mold of Channing Frye -- one not highly recruited out of high school, but has shown tremendous ability" -(Arizona Athletics Player Bio)

"While he has made strides with his maturity, there are still periods of lackadaisical play that he goes through. A part of the problem could be his hands, often times he doesn’t catch the ball clean" -NBADRaft.net

"Weaknesses: Decision Making, Average Basketball IQ, Questionable Hands, Older than class peers." -DraftExpress

At least we have Danillo "The Camel" Gallinari.

Relax, my fellow Knick fans, I'm sure Hill has a little more flow than Stephen Curry:

6.29.2009

Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough

So while everyone's been bombarded with news about Michael Jackson's death the past couple days, and our good friend Larry has already provided some tracks dedicated to our favorite moonwalker, a little more of the King can't hurt anyone.

The internet is filled with remixes of MJ's songs but I found some real "thrillers" for you. The first comes from Cookin' Soul. I've never actually heard of them before but they remixed some of Jackson's songs with an A-list group of rappers. You've got Biggie, 2Pac, Jay-Z, Nas, Lil Wayne, Kid Cudi, Ludacris, Eminem, and 50 Cent. Not a bad list of MCs to mix with one of the greatest artists of all time. I'll post two links for this. The first is one where you can download the whole mixtape. If you only want a couple tracks, the second link has a download of the Jay-Z, Lil Wayne, B.I.G, and Cudi tracks.

Full Mixtape - Tribute to the King of Pop

Selected Tracks - Tribute to the King of Pop

If that wasn't enough for you, I've also got a song that Don Diablo made in tribute to Michael. Remember "Confusion Girl"? That was Diablo. Here's what he had to say about the song and Jackson. I couldn't say it better myself:

“What better way to pay tribute to MJ than music? I’ve been asked by press a lot today to comment on MJ’s untimely death, but what do you say without sounding cliche. MJ was not a man of many words, he spoke through his music. In short, I decided to make a song, rather than making any comments. Music is and always will be the best way to express a feeling without using words. Rest in peace MJ, I hope you are moonwalkin’ in heaven now.” - Don Diablo

Here's the track:

"Song for MJ (Remember the Time)" - Don Diablo

Rest in peace, Michael, knowing that you were certainly successful: "And my goal in life is to give to the world what I was lucky to receive: the ecstasy of divine union through my music and my dance." - Michael Jackson

6.28.2009

"But Dad, This is the BEST Part"


I remember when I was about five years old, and I turned on MTV and first saw the video of Black or White by Michael Jackson. It was a magical moment for me, perhaps the first time I had an emotional experience with music. Man, I wanted to be that kid (Macauly Culkin) in the video, dancing and getting down with Michael Jackson. I wanted to shake what my momma gave me in the Sahara. I wanted to transform into a Black Panther. CHAMOOONA. Ten years later, I was embarassed to be a fan of his, and that is probably why I went the route of the rap scene, attending SummerJams, validating my heterosexuality in the face of the MJ Trauma. In the past few years, I've come to realize (again) that his music is in fact quite magical, and great to party to. And while I don't condone his touching fetish, I dig on his groove more than ever. So, in the wake of his demise or rebirth?), I've sifted through the buckets of shit posted on the internet blogs the past week and found the best remixes that do the King Of Pop(pin little boy's buttholes):

I WANT YOU BACK-READYMADE 524 Remix by Yasuharu Konishi (right click, save)
This is the fucking tittays. The BDC. I finally found it. Enjoy...

SCREAM- Classic Club Mix (right click, save)

THE WAY YOU MAKE ME FEEL-Extended Dance Version
(right click, save)

Daft Punk vs. MJ- Rock with You

MJ vs. Bag Raiders-You Are Not Alone (right click, save)
Shooting Stars and The Thrilla...count it...

Rock My World-MJ and Jay Z
(right click, save, and nut yourself)

Parody of Black or White...Good Shit:



"I play with little animals and hang out with Macauly all night."

Long live the toucher of all things under the age of 12.

From Origami to the Moonwalk in the Moonlight


Dating back hundreds of years, the Japanese have always been a master of crafts. Now, however, instead of delicately folding paper into cranes, the Japanese have turned to the music world. One Shinichi Osawa has turned heads around the world with his scintillating house grooves.

I was lucky enough to catch Mr. Osawa in concert this past week as he opened for Fatboy Slim at Terminal 5 in New York. He not only didn't disappoint, he far exceeded my expectations. Fatboy was left looking Slim as Shinichi blew him away. Fatboy Slim rested on his laurels, using a mostly prerecorded performance and some over the top fist pumping to try and please the crowd. Osawa, however, was busy mixing his music throughout the hour-plus that he played. He would mix for five minutes, slowly building to the peak, rarely looking up as he concentrated, and then he would release the tension for the excited crowd. After quickly throwing his hands in the air to celebrate the surreal beat he had just created, he would grab a swig of his Sam Adams and get back to work.

The only slight disappointment was that he left out almost all of the songs that people knew. No "Perfect Vision." No "Main Street Electrical Parade." No "Dreamhunt" or "Detonator." No complaints, however, as I thought it was amazing that of all of the songs that I have come to love Shinichi through, the only one he played was "Pogo" and I still thought the show was unbelievable. Here's a link to download "Pogo," as well as two other dope songs. I realize that this is an old song and you've probably heard it, but take a second listen...and then a third. It's worth it:

"Pogo (Shinichi Osawa Remix) - Digitalism

In other music news, Phish will be playing a three day festival for Halloween! Another cool announcement through Phish.com on Friday, the band will be throwing on their musical costume for some extended sets in what is speculated to be Indio, California, the site of the Coachella festival.

Halloween has always been a special day for Phish as they don their costumes in the form of music by covering full albums of other bands. They have played The White Album, The Who's Quadrophenia, Velvet Underground's Loaded, and Talking Head's Remain in Light. You also can't forget 1998 when they covered Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon just two days after the Halloween show where they played Loaded.

While you have to expect the unexpected with Phish, one can't help but find it interesting that they announced this the day after Michael Jackson died. Fans had always been hoping for them to cover his Thriller album and this could be the year. No matter what, this will be a weekend to remember and I will do everything I can to be there. Anyone who wants to join is more than welcome. Here's a video of GRAB (Trey and Mike Gordon with the Benevento Russo duo) playing "Billie Jean." Could be quite the dance party under the stars of SoCal with the kings of the jam band scene covering the King of Pop with some questionable substances and costumes to aid in the process:

6.27.2009

Wu-Tang is for the children!


So Wu-Tang's newest album, Wu-Tang Chamber Music, is due out in a few days (June 30) and I'm actually pretty excited about it. I thought 8 Diagrams was a pretty good album and I think this one will be too. It's produced by RZA, which is always a good sign, and it features some veteran guests like AZ, Masta Ace, and Havoc from Mobb Deep, among others. I checked out a new leak off it today, "Radiant Jewels," and I really liked it. This dude I've never heard of Cormega kills it on that song. I don't think GZA is featured on any of the songs, though, which is is disappointing. Anyway, I'm pretty excited about it and here's the song I just spoke of:

Radiant Jewels - Wu-Tang Clan (Ft. Raekwon, Cormega, & Sean Price)

On a side note, it's kind of surprising me that more and more people tell me they've never even heard of Wu-Tang's video game, Shaolin Style. If you still own a PS2 or even an original Playstation, buy it off ebay for like 4 or 5 bucks. It's a fucking sick game, trust me.



Movin on yo' left, HA!

Also this shit never gets old:

6.26.2009

Draft Recap


Here are some thoughts from the NBA Draft:

1. Let's be honest. Hasheem Thabeet was a terrible pick. Almost as bad as Darko Milicic (more to come) a few years back. For anyone who watched the draft last night, Jay Bilas's description of Thabeet as a player who "has to get strong.. and has to refine his offensive skills." How can a team actually take a player # 2 overall who is not game-ready? Thabeet will be a good defensive player, maybe averaging a few blocks per game and a few boards, but this man is a homeless-man's version of Sam Bowie or Michael Olowakandi, whose name "I want candy" is perhaps the only positive associated with him.

2. The Seattle Supersonics - www.nba.com/sonics - blew their chances at being the most exciting team n the league hands down. The Spurs added Richard Jefferson to an already explosive lineup, the Magic added Vince with Dwight, and the Cavs picked-up a fellow named Shaq O'Neil to team up with the King. But in terms of potential, age and excitement a team of Rubio, Westbrook, Durant, and Jeff Green would be tantalizing to watch. Imagine last year's Blazers on steroids. Sorry Welles, your team really fumbled this one.

3. T-Wolves drafting 5 guards, and trading one. A backcourt of Rubio and Johnny Flynn will be a disaster. You have an 18 year old European and a 5"11 thug from Syracuse NY who had one good game (whose Stats were inflated as it was a 6 OT game). Good luck coach, whoever you may be. The best thing Johnny Flynn did was refer to himself in 3rd person. We couldn't stop laughing when he said that he doesn't compare himself to any current NBA'ers but rather Johnny Flynn has to be Johnny Flynn.

4. I think as a collective unit three of us let out 60 f-bombs once the Warriors picked the savior Stephen Curry right before the Knicks who were left with another under-sized Power Forward. Curry is going to be a stud. Hopefully he'll start rolling with a new entourage than he did in college: I love College (Davidson University)

5. The similarity between the Minnesota Twins and the Indiana Pacers? They both love white guys. A Pacers lineup of Troy Murphy (from Delbarton), Jeff Foster, Mike Dunleavy and recent pick Tyler Hansbrough is as white as paper. All they are missing is Welles Wiley. Race and Sports

6. This draft absolutely was awful the rest of the way. None of these guys will be good players, let alone all-stars and most won't even crack a starting lineup. 10 of the first 21 picks were point guards alone, most of whom will be out of the league in the next few years.

7. The best picks of the night were Eric Maynor to Utah in the first round and DeJuan Blair - the next Big Baby Davis - to San Antonio (who is on its way to a Championship).

Overall, this draft was one of the worst ever. Too many foreign players. Too many player I've never heard of. Too many garbage players. Rather, this trade will be remembered for its trades.

The best of which was Quentin Richardson for Darko Milicic. You gotta love Donnie Walsh. I just put this item up on Ebay, feel free to bid! Here

6.25.2009

Twitter



Before I continue with my NFL power rankings, let me just state how much I hate Twitter. I hope no one disagrees with me about this. Seriously though, someone should hack into Twitter's mainframe and just delete it forever. Virus the shit out of that thing. I log online today to gather some new sports news and I immediately see that Lendale White and Chris Johnson are in a light feud over some stupid shit regarding their mutual nickname ("Smash and Dash") because of something Johnson "tweeted" (don't ever let me allow that term to leave those quotation marks). Yeah, it's probably all in jest and the media is surely overreacting but it calls to mind Charlie Villanueva's use of Twitter at halftime of an NBA game. Message to Pro Athletes from someone with little athletic prowess but who does have some common sense: Stop fucking twittering.

I was just as dismayed to read in the article, which I'll include a link to at the end of the post, that "[Lendale] White isn't one to back to back down, so he dared Johnson to unveil a new touchdown celebration." What? Did I misread that? So an NFL player dared a feuding teammate to do a new dance as a means of getting even? How about running him over in practice or better yet, in a move that actually might help the organization and team itself, challenge him to something that actually has to do with playing so that a healthy competition can develop and better both players? Shit makes me sick. I would love to hear Mike Singletary's comments were something like this to happen on the 49ers. Johnson and White remain two of my favorite players to watch, though, and I clearly still think the Titans will be an elite team this year.

http://www.nfl.com/news/story?id=09000d5d810fb441&template=without-video-with-comments&confirm=true

From Origami to the Moonwalk in the Moonlight


Dating back hundreds of years, the Japanese have always been a master of crafts. Now, however, instead of delicately folding paper into cranes, the Japanese have turned to the music world. One Shinichi Osawa has turned heads around the world with his scintillating house grooves.

I was lucky enough to catch Mr. Osawa in concert this past week as he opened for Fatboy Slim at Terminal 5 in New York. He not only didn't disappoint, he far exceeded my expectations. Fatboy was left looking Slim as Shinichi blew him away. Fatboy Slim rested on his laurels, using a mostly prerecorded performance and some over the top fist pumping to try and please the crowd. Osawa, however, was busy mixing his music throughout the hour-plus that he played. He would mix for five minutes, slowly building to the peak, rarely looking up as he concentrated, and then he would release the tension for the excited crowd. After quickly throwing his hands in the air to celebrate the surreal beat he had just created, he would grab a swig of his Sam Adams and get back to work.

The only slight disappointment was that he left out almost all of the songs that people knew. No "Perfect Vision." No "Main Street Electrical Parade." No "Dreamhunt" or "Detonator." No complaints, however, as I thought it was amazing that of all of the songs that I have come to love Shinichi through, the only one he played was "Pogo" and I still thought the show was unbelievable. Here's a link to download "Pogo," as well as two other dope songs. I realize that this is an old song and you've probably heard it, but take a second listen...and then a third. It's worth it:

"Pogo (Shinichi Osawa Remix) - Digitalism

In other music news, Phish will be playing a three day festival for Halloween! Another cool announcement through Phish.com on Friday, the band will be throwing on their musical costume for some extended sets in what is speculated to be Indio, California, the site of the Coachella festival.

Halloween has always been a special day for Phish as they don their costumes in the form of music by covering full albums of other bands. They have played The White Album, The Who's Quadrophenia, Velvet Underground's Loaded, and Talking Head's Remain in Light. You also can't forget 1998 when they covered Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon just two days after the Halloween show where they played Loaded.

While you have to expect the unexpected with Phish, one can't help but find it interesting that they announced this the day after Michael Jackson died. Fans had always been hoping for them to cover his Thriller album and this could be the year. No matter what, this will be a weekend to remember and I will do everything I can to be there. Anyone who wants to join is more than welcome. Here's a video of GRAB (Trey and Mike Gordon with the Benevento Russo duo) playing "Billie Jean." Could be quite the dance party under the stars of SoCal with the kings of the jam band scene covering the King of Pop with some questionable substances and costumes to aid in the process: