Em's Still Got It

Quick post. I just came across this video of Eminem freestyling on Tim Westwood's radio station in England. Fucking fire. Excluding the first verse, this is without a doubt one of the best live freestyles I've ever seen. Maybe the best. Make sure to watch the whole video because it really picks up from the beginning:



Good to see Eminem still has it.

Sleepyhead

In recent years, I've had trouble falling asleep when I'm sober, and many of my colleagues and peers have intimated that they too have experienced this unfortunate phenomenon in their own lives . Frankly, I think that for many of us continually going to bed--whether that be on an actual mattress or somewhere else like the floor--drunk and high has rendered it difficult to fall asleep when sober. I don't know--maybe I'm stressed out, maybe that latex paint at work is getting to my head, maybe it's the soft mattress, midnight rape, or nude gay art show that took place in my room last night, but either way, I have my theory and I'm sticking to it. As such, I'm going to recommend some stuff that I think does the trick. Consider it a public service. Here goes, in no particular order:

1. Watch an episode of Bob Ross: The Joy of Painting. If you didn't watch the Joy of Painting growing up, you are a) in a minority and b) missed out on a special part of life. Though he's pretty fucking creepy and sports what looks like a giant collection of pubic hairs on his head, you have to love his show and it will for damn sure make you nod off. His DVDs are about $20 on eBay and feature such paintings as 'Reflections of Calm,' 'Before the Snowfall,' and 'Tranquility Cove.' Those titles alone are enough to make one pass out. Given the price, I would probably recommend this to someone who has serious problems falling asleep at night. R.I.P Bob Ross. Here's an excellent parody of the Joy of Painting to tide you over:



2. Find that friend of yours that is downright awful at telling stories and pick his brain for a while. You know you have that friend, everybody does, it's no big deal. They are an amazing friend, have things in common with you, etc., but they just flat out suck at telling stories. The subject matter might not even be that bad, but the delivery is off and you feel like finding a pillow and blanket halfway through.

3. Read anything by Jane Austen. Reading Jane Austen is just like eating cucumber sandwiches: high-class, pompous people go gaga over it; you know exactly what you're getting; and it's boring as hell. Go read the first line of the definition of a "traditional" cucumber sandwich on Wikipedia (as if hundreds of varieties have been invented since) and tell me some rich, pompous French dude didn't write that. I'll even include the link for you. Do it. Don't get me wrong, Jane Austen is a seriously talented writer, probably one of the best ever in terms of literary skill. But honestly, reading her books is one of the most boring activities (is that even an appropriate word?) I've ever come across in my life, right up there with staring at a wall, watching people play FIFA, or maybe sleeping itself. Peruse one of these babies and before you know it those riveting tales of early 19th century virgins and their love lives and miserable chores and dainty dinner parties and handkerchiefs and...you get the point.

4. Listen to classical music. I love classical music. There's no better time to listen to it then when you're going to bed or doing schoolwork. Here's an album I got this past winter off Drake's blog that I really like listening to as I hit the hay:

Gonzalez - Solo Piano

5. Watch a kickball game. And by kickball I mean that sport that everyone in the US loves all of a sudden because of this huge effort to become more European. Yeah, Europe's fucking awesome, soccer jerseys are cool, and the MLB sucks now, but that doesn't mean we have to go abandoning the great games our forefathers laid down for us. Stop pretending to love soccer so much, wearing European clothing, stuffing yourself with brie and pinot grigio, and go toss the pigskin around out in the backyard; it'll do you good. Shotgun a beer and grill a steak while you're at it.

6. Smoke weed.

Well those are just a few of the advantages one has at his or her disposable when it's time to get some shut-eye. If I think of any more dandies, I'll make another post, but this is it for now. Maybe you even fell asleep reading this.


p.s. Cucumber sandwiches reminded me of Oscar Wilde's The Importance of Being Earnest (they frequently eat them in the play), which is one of the most hilarious plays I've ever read. It's a great work and I highly suggest picking it up.

Please feel free to leave any techniques you use in the comments section as I'm constantly looking for new ways to fall asleep. Have a great weekend. Peace!

I'd Touch These Movies

Even in a shitty economy, people still go to the movies. Escapism and all that shit. There might not be as many being made, as my LA brotha tells me, but there's certainly enough to go around. There's a ton of tight movies that have been and are going to be coming out soon that I'm pumped to see (particularly Harry Potter 6 baaaby). Here are three trailers that look absolutely absurd, in all the right kind of ways.

Tarantino is simply a boss. I'm sure you've seen a trailer for this movie, Inglorious Basterds, but this one is waay more Euro (and fucking crazier). This is what Quentin's all about:



Anything that involves the killa combo of Jon Favreau and Vince Vaughn is worthwhile in my book. Swingers and Made (if you don't know, figure it out and see them), are the fucking truth, and this movie definitely has some potential, at least for some good laughs. Cross between Along Came Polly and Knocked Up:



This looks fucking amazing, and looks like it could start a huge comeback? for Robin Williams. I've never gone crazy over his bizarre, different style of comedy, but he's certainly a talented actor and usually in pretty legit movies. This looks too legit to quit:



None of these are brand, brand new shit, but I had to do some catching up the past couple of days, and these are three of the more intriguing trailers I caught. Definitely got these three on the backburner. Will try to post more, shits been real busy lately. Hollaaaa.

Mr. Wang Hung: The Barcelona Naked Man

Every now and then one comes across something particularly entertaining. In Barcelona, where topless tanning on the beach is the norm, this past month I’ve come across a lot of gems. I’ve seen tits of every shape, size and ethnicity. I’ve experienced what they call the good, the bad, and even the ugly. One day on the beach we saw a human fembot with orangutan nipples that must have been literally about an inch and a half long. Another day, I saw what must have been a 90 year old women whose boobs literally touched her belly button. Apart from the freak nipples and super saggy boobs, I’ve also seen some dimes. However, in terms of drawing the attention of the eye, nothing compares to what I saw last week.

While leaving the beach one day, walking on the path back to the subway, I passed something that I couldn’t help but gawk at—an old man walking around completely naked. Not only was this guy completely naked, but he was all inked up. The guy, who we’ll call Mr. Wang Hung for the all intensive purposes of this post, had a wide array of tatts, including a pair of navy blue underpants, an FC Barcelona shield and some other strange shit. Perhaps most shocking of all though, is that the guy, who I must again stress is an old man, is hung like a stallion. No wonder he walks around naked. He must be as proud as a lion, literally.

To my dismay, I didn’t happen to have my camera with me, and thus was unable to take a picture of this out of the ordinary sight. Luckily for me, last night on the way to dinner, I passed the man again on the street and was able to get a few shots. In light of this by-chance sighting, there are a few topics of discussion that I want to pose for this week.

First of all, is it really that strange that this man chooses to walk around naked? While you and I are constrained in our daily lives by the restrictions of undergarments and other clothing, he is out there enjoying himself commando style, dangling his willy around as free as the whispering wind—and believe me, this guy could do the meat-spin like a frickin’ helicopter if he wanted, his dick hangs low, it wobbles to and fro’ he can tie it in a knot, he can tie it in a bow… which brings me to my next point. This guy should be proud. For a white guy, he has one of the biggest willys that I’ve ever seen. Maybe he’s just putting himself out there, advertising, you know? Him walking around the city naked with that huge dong out has got to be way more effective than using a website like match.com, the only thing he’s missing is a tattoo of his phone number so that women can contact him.

Some people might argue that it’s not practical to walk around naked. They might ask something like, “where does he keep his belongings, like wallet and cell phone?” But believe me, this guy has got everything he needs. He has a watch to tell time, and shoes and socks so that his feet don’t get dirty, and a small black plastic bag for everything else he needs. Pockets? Who fucking needs them. This guys got it down to a fuckin' T. Also, I should note that there are no laws against nudity in Barcelona, what this man is doing is completely legal. In some ways, Mr. Wang Hung, the Barcelona Naked Man, has become part of the city, a living, breathing, walking monument, and a testament to the liberal atmosphere of Barcelona. Mr. Wang Hung, I salute you and the life you choose to live.

The Girl From Ipanema

Hope everyone enjoyed themselves this weekend. The weather couldn't have been better to celebrate America's birthday. First off, just a couple thoughts on the current state of sports. As much as it pains me to say it, congratulations to Roger Federer. Today's Wimbledon match was one for the ages. Andy Roddick played his tail off and has nothing to be ashamed of (except for missing that backhand volley that would've put him up two sets to love). But seriously, great performances from both guys and, even though I was rooting for Randy the Rocket, we can now say that Roger is the best of all time. With Rafa hopefully coming back, the G.O.A.T., Andy Murray, and Roddick with his new-found game, I am certainly looking forward to the U.S. Open.

Don't look now, but the Yankees are currently on a tear. Ever since Girardi got thrown out in Atlanta, the Bombers have not stopped hitting. Even following a forgetful start from Joba today, the Yankees were able to pull out a 10-8 win. With the All Star break coming up, it certainly looks like AL East will come down to the wire come the end of September. Finally, I'd just like to say that Air McNair will be missed. We will never forget the drive to end Super Bowl XXXIV in which you almost took down the high-powered Rams, as well as the countless games you played when you probably should've been in the trainer's room.

Now just a little bit of Shinichi for you. I just found a mix that he made called "Sounds of Summer '09". This guy truly is an all around talent. I downloaded the mix expecting some fiery electro but instead found a soothing blend of guitar that would fit an afternoon on the beach perfectly. As the title alludes to, just think of a modern day version of "The Girl From Ipanema" that lasts for just over an hour.

"Sounds of Summer '09" - Shinichi Osawa

Also from Shinichi is a new remix. This song is what you'd expect from an Osawa electro song. Pure fire.

"Thief (Shinichi Osawa Remix) - Lost Valentinos