7.03.2009

That Was Such a Samantha Thing To Sayyy!

I figured I'd get away from the music for a while and get you guys pumped for some new movies coming out. I must say that I've been lacking on keeping up with the latest cinema. I still haven't seen Up, Whatever Works, or Public Enemies (I know it just came out, but still). I'm not at all interested in sitting through two and half hours of Michael Bay jizzing on his own face at "how AWESOME my special effects are!" The only movie of interest that I have seen this summer is The Hangover, and it did not disappoint in the least. Here are some upcoming films that I'm really excited about.

Bruno

I don't really have to say much to create hype about this movie. It's already everywhere. I mean, after you make a movie as successful as Borat, Baron Cohen could hide in a hole (hopefully one that gets filled with dirt) and Bruno would still be the highest grossing movie on its opening weekend. Make sure you see this on July 10 when it comes out so that you're the one ruining the best jokes and annoying the shit out of everyone by quoting the movie and not the other way around.



Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

Coming out a week later than Bruno is the next installment of the Harry Potter series. Yes, I have read all seven books and yes, I was 19 when I read the last one. Maybe I'm a tool, but even if you think only Bruno would read Harry Potter as a grown man, you still need to see this movie. The sixth installment of the series, The Half-Blood Prince continues the trend of the movies getting darker and darker. This movie dives deep into the past of He Who Shall Not Be Named. You can't get too much darker than that, except maybe in the jungles of Congo. Nonetheless, this movie should be the tits and even if you don't like the story, just find some of that wizard grass and enjoy the stunning visuals.



Funny People

Coming out on July 31 is the third movie directed by Judd Apatow, the king of creating comedies in the 2000s, after The 40 Year Old Virgin and Knocked Up. Think of any movie that you've laughed at in the past five years and Judd Apatow has probably played some role in its coming to the screen. For Funny People, Apatow directed, produced, and wrote the movie, so it's all on him if it bombs. Lucky for him, Adam Sandler has supposedly put out his first legitimate comedic performance since Big Daddy. Mix Apatow and Sandler with Seth Rogen, Jonah Hill, and numerous others (even Eric Bana?), and we should be in for one of the funniest movies of the summer. The only thing that causes some concern is that Apatow describes this as a "very serious movie." Luckily he follows that up by saying that he's trying to make it "twice as funny as my other movies." Hey, even if it's barely as funny as his other movies, we're in for a treat.



Finally, I'll throw in some funny clips that I recently found on the web that I think are just too funny not to include in this post. First is some douche trying to give his speech as Best Man at his friends wedding. If you've ever been nervous about giving a speech, at first you'll sympathize with this guy. Then you'll realize that he's a complete ass who didn't think of anything beforehand to say. It's literally like someone pulled him off the street, threw a tux on him, and told him to toast some random dude's wedding.



This next video is some chick who's so hammered she falls over and nails her head on a dresser. Sounds lame but I guarantee you'll be laughing. These videos never get old.


EMBED-Drunk Girl Smashes Her Face - Watch more free videos

7.02.2009

Best Party Ever?

poolpartiesflyer


Just caught this link from http://coedmagazine.com . If you know whats up, August 9th and August 23rd are dates to keep in your head, because Simian Mobile Disco, Girl Talk, and my man Wiz Khalifa are the fucking truth. And, of course, it's free. And the Jew in me loves all things free.

Here's some Simian V. Justice to get you in the mood. Where's yoooouur heeead at:


Swish.

Best Celebration Ever!!!



Michael Vick Style yo. This puts T.O. and Ocho Cinco's "celebrations" to shame. I would love to see an NFL team try this out next year. I think the most fitting example of this could be after a touchdown by say, Wes Welker, Randy Moss got behind him and threw a little thrust action his way. Not only would this scene be a great re-enactment of what occurs daily in jails across the nation, but would also prove that, yes, everyone *male or female) in Boston takes it in the butt.

Lots of Pussies Whistlin'



Rising star Drizzy Drake just drops it like its hawt in this fresh video. This music video is essentially a modern, thugged out adaptation of A League of Their Own. And Drake probably flicked a few more of these classy ladies' beans than Tom Hanks did. The noice tittays bouncin up and down and the cheesy interludes make for one of the hotter and better music videos of recent memory. Kobe would certainly give Drake daps on this one, and sure as shit wouldn't mind teaching these chicas a few stretches of his own. You know, the one called smydorgetthefuckout.

Shout out to the thrilla SMilla for this one.

6.30.2009

The Spawn of Renaldo Frye


I'm Jordan Hill Bitch!

Meet Jordan Hill (middle). Jordan Hill is your newest New York Knick. He also looks like what would happen if former Knick first round picks Renaldo Balkman and Channing Frye re-enacted a scene from Brokeback Mountain. Hopefully, Hill's career will turn out a little better than these two legendary Knicks. Morelikely he'll go the Balkman rout and decide he'd like to spend more time with Sour Diesel and Mr. Grey Goose than in the paint with Dwight Howard. Or he could Frye it up and think more about what his next blog post should be rather than trying to get a rebound. The Knicks have drafted a man with the same barber as Renaldo Balkman, and a man with the same pedigree as the great Channing Frye (also the Knicks' last number 8 pick). The best big man to ever come from Arizona: Sean Rooks. Nice. So while the Knicks may have, for now, failed to land the floppy haired wunderkind from Spain, Hill certainly ups the amount of ink in their locker room (watch out Wilson Chandler), adds a guy that has the same haircut as Rick James, and probably had a tough time beating Robert Dozier's SAT scores. While cautiously optimistic that he can play in the NBA, Hill may end up to be the next Amare Stoudemire--or (more likely) the next Renaldo Frye.

He must not succumb to his weaknesses:

"A player in the mold of Channing Frye -- one not highly recruited out of high school, but has shown tremendous ability" -(Arizona Athletics Player Bio)

"While he has made strides with his maturity, there are still periods of lackadaisical play that he goes through. A part of the problem could be his hands, often times he doesn’t catch the ball clean" -NBADRaft.net

"Weaknesses: Decision Making, Average Basketball IQ, Questionable Hands, Older than class peers." -DraftExpress

At least we have Danillo "The Camel" Gallinari.

Relax, my fellow Knick fans, I'm sure Hill has a little more flow than Stephen Curry:

6.29.2009

Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough

So while everyone's been bombarded with news about Michael Jackson's death the past couple days, and our good friend Larry has already provided some tracks dedicated to our favorite moonwalker, a little more of the King can't hurt anyone.

The internet is filled with remixes of MJ's songs but I found some real "thrillers" for you. The first comes from Cookin' Soul. I've never actually heard of them before but they remixed some of Jackson's songs with an A-list group of rappers. You've got Biggie, 2Pac, Jay-Z, Nas, Lil Wayne, Kid Cudi, Ludacris, Eminem, and 50 Cent. Not a bad list of MCs to mix with one of the greatest artists of all time. I'll post two links for this. The first is one where you can download the whole mixtape. If you only want a couple tracks, the second link has a download of the Jay-Z, Lil Wayne, B.I.G, and Cudi tracks.

Full Mixtape - Tribute to the King of Pop

Selected Tracks - Tribute to the King of Pop

If that wasn't enough for you, I've also got a song that Don Diablo made in tribute to Michael. Remember "Confusion Girl"? That was Diablo. Here's what he had to say about the song and Jackson. I couldn't say it better myself:

“What better way to pay tribute to MJ than music? I’ve been asked by press a lot today to comment on MJ’s untimely death, but what do you say without sounding cliche. MJ was not a man of many words, he spoke through his music. In short, I decided to make a song, rather than making any comments. Music is and always will be the best way to express a feeling without using words. Rest in peace MJ, I hope you are moonwalkin’ in heaven now.” - Don Diablo

Here's the track:

"Song for MJ (Remember the Time)" - Don Diablo

Rest in peace, Michael, knowing that you were certainly successful: "And my goal in life is to give to the world what I was lucky to receive: the ecstasy of divine union through my music and my dance." - Michael Jackson

6.28.2009

"But Dad, This is the BEST Part"


I remember when I was about five years old, and I turned on MTV and first saw the video of Black or White by Michael Jackson. It was a magical moment for me, perhaps the first time I had an emotional experience with music. Man, I wanted to be that kid (Macauly Culkin) in the video, dancing and getting down with Michael Jackson. I wanted to shake what my momma gave me in the Sahara. I wanted to transform into a Black Panther. CHAMOOONA. Ten years later, I was embarassed to be a fan of his, and that is probably why I went the route of the rap scene, attending SummerJams, validating my heterosexuality in the face of the MJ Trauma. In the past few years, I've come to realize (again) that his music is in fact quite magical, and great to party to. And while I don't condone his touching fetish, I dig on his groove more than ever. So, in the wake of his demise or rebirth?), I've sifted through the buckets of shit posted on the internet blogs the past week and found the best remixes that do the King Of Pop(pin little boy's buttholes):

I WANT YOU BACK-READYMADE 524 Remix by Yasuharu Konishi (right click, save)
This is the fucking tittays. The BDC. I finally found it. Enjoy...

SCREAM- Classic Club Mix (right click, save)

THE WAY YOU MAKE ME FEEL-Extended Dance Version
(right click, save)

Daft Punk vs. MJ- Rock with You

MJ vs. Bag Raiders-You Are Not Alone (right click, save)
Shooting Stars and The Thrilla...count it...

Rock My World-MJ and Jay Z
(right click, save, and nut yourself)

Parody of Black or White...Good Shit:



"I play with little animals and hang out with Macauly all night."

Long live the toucher of all things under the age of 12.

From Origami to the Moonwalk in the Moonlight


Dating back hundreds of years, the Japanese have always been a master of crafts. Now, however, instead of delicately folding paper into cranes, the Japanese have turned to the music world. One Shinichi Osawa has turned heads around the world with his scintillating house grooves.

I was lucky enough to catch Mr. Osawa in concert this past week as he opened for Fatboy Slim at Terminal 5 in New York. He not only didn't disappoint, he far exceeded my expectations. Fatboy was left looking Slim as Shinichi blew him away. Fatboy Slim rested on his laurels, using a mostly prerecorded performance and some over the top fist pumping to try and please the crowd. Osawa, however, was busy mixing his music throughout the hour-plus that he played. He would mix for five minutes, slowly building to the peak, rarely looking up as he concentrated, and then he would release the tension for the excited crowd. After quickly throwing his hands in the air to celebrate the surreal beat he had just created, he would grab a swig of his Sam Adams and get back to work.

The only slight disappointment was that he left out almost all of the songs that people knew. No "Perfect Vision." No "Main Street Electrical Parade." No "Dreamhunt" or "Detonator." No complaints, however, as I thought it was amazing that of all of the songs that I have come to love Shinichi through, the only one he played was "Pogo" and I still thought the show was unbelievable. Here's a link to download "Pogo," as well as two other dope songs. I realize that this is an old song and you've probably heard it, but take a second listen...and then a third. It's worth it:

"Pogo (Shinichi Osawa Remix) - Digitalism

In other music news, Phish will be playing a three day festival for Halloween! Another cool announcement through Phish.com on Friday, the band will be throwing on their musical costume for some extended sets in what is speculated to be Indio, California, the site of the Coachella festival.

Halloween has always been a special day for Phish as they don their costumes in the form of music by covering full albums of other bands. They have played The White Album, The Who's Quadrophenia, Velvet Underground's Loaded, and Talking Head's Remain in Light. You also can't forget 1998 when they covered Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon just two days after the Halloween show where they played Loaded.

While you have to expect the unexpected with Phish, one can't help but find it interesting that they announced this the day after Michael Jackson died. Fans had always been hoping for them to cover his Thriller album and this could be the year. No matter what, this will be a weekend to remember and I will do everything I can to be there. Anyone who wants to join is more than welcome. Here's a video of GRAB (Trey and Mike Gordon with the Benevento Russo duo) playing "Billie Jean." Could be quite the dance party under the stars of SoCal with the kings of the jam band scene covering the King of Pop with some questionable substances and costumes to aid in the process: