7.16.2009

Fixin To Thrill


I usually wait to post music until I have at least a couple songs to toss up. That being said, I'm too excited by this recent find to wait. We haven't heard from Dragonette in a while. For those of you at Colgate, you definitely remember the many Dragonette jams we listened to over and over again this past fall. Some include "I Get Around", "Competition", and "Take It Like A Man". Needless to say, "Fixin To Thrill" is another banger coming off their upcoming album also titled Fixin To Thrill. The album is expected to be released in either August or September and, after hearing this song, I cannot wait to hear it.

"Fixin To Thrill" - Dragonette

7.15.2009

Bryce Harper is a BEAST

This kid is scary. Legit. He was on the cover of SI a few weeks ago, and I was fortunate enough to read about him. Essentially, he's been a mercenary little leaguer for over five years, getting free vacations to play baseball all over the country with and against older kids. He can play any position, throws in the mid 90s, and casually picks off runners from his knees. Instead of going to High School, the would be junior is going to play a year at a County College in his hometown of Las Vegas, and then be the first overall pick in the 2010 draft. Now batting 3rd for your 2020 New York Yankees, Pitcher, Catcher, and Short Stop: Bryce Harper (scroll to 3 minute mark to watch 500 foot BOMB):

I Smoked a Basilisk and I'll Smoke You Too


HP6 premiered at Midnight last night (made 20 mill). It's getting unreal reviews and looks like it's going to be pretty ill from the clips I've seen. Kind of pissed I didn't go last night to see people dress up like the Hogwarts clan...But this is prrretttty gooood (got it from slashfilm):

Sloooooooooan


I have found my soul mate. She's back on Entourage, and damn it feels good. She's Canadian, Jewish, and loves younger men. So maybe I made that last part up, but I want to marry Emmanuelle Chriqui (even her name is sexy and exotic). She's by far the best aspect of Entourage at this point, and is like a fine wine (yeah, she gets hotter with age, now 32). Turtle can have all the bubble baths in the world with Jamie-Lynn. Sloan is the Bomb.Com. Someone needs to figure this out and get her on the big screen in some legit roles. Emmanuelle Chriqui>Meghan Fox (looks and acting).

I liked Alexi Lalas more when he was on the green train:

7.14.2009

Barton Fink Funks You Up


"Nobody fucks with the Jesus." Nobody. John Turturro is one of my favorite actors. He's complete: knows how to play an absurd caricature (the Jesus), a smooth douchebag (Rounders), and a desperate scumbag (Miller's Crossing). He really has the uncanny to not only play any role, but play it well. And in perhaps his best role, Turturro transforms himself into one Barton Fink (which I finally just saw), a talented playwrite who goes to Hollywood to try his luck with screen writing. This Coen brother masterpiece was written in a short, three week span during which they suffered from writer's block attempting to write Miller's Crossing. The result: a masterpiece on par with the best of the Coen Brothers. The film is a dark, satirical, and brilliant look into both the depths of a man's mind and Hollywood (as it was back then). I like throwback flicks (particularly in today's blockbuster day and age), and this certainly fits the bill. It's the bdc, check it:



Oh yeah. Monk's in it too. And he's pretty damn funny.

LA CONFIDENTIAL

Believe it or not, behind all the incredibly high weekend gross numbers that you see on rottentomatoes or moviefone or whatever, Hollywood is in a sad state. And you may not have known it by how well the movies are doing that are currently out. But behind the huge profit margins of Transformers 2 or Bruno or the ever-so-cute-and-funny romantic comedy, The Proposal, you will see the realistic truth. Hollywood is only making films that they absolutely know will make money. It's why there are so many sequels being made, it's why there are so many blockbuster, big budget, blow em up films being made. Because in the end, middle America and the South, will basically pay 12 dollars a ticket to go see anything where bombs explode and hot chicks show some cleavage (see Meghan Fox in Transformers 2). And this goes way beyond the recession in the economy and the lack of investors who usually help patron small, independent films. It has to do with marketing and the current, extremely outdated distribution system of Hollywood. Right now, a movie gets made and most often it premieres nationally, all across America. This is very much outdated. With companies like NetFlix, who have compiled research over the past decade to show that certain zip codes order certain certain movies, even certain genres, the future of Hollywood distribution is targeted, selective distribution. Within the next ten years, you'll start seeing movies only be released in certain movie theaters, in certain towns. This will bring a wave of criticism regarding racial profiling and stereotypes, but in the end, Hollywood will claim what every business does when it comes to marketing--1). everyone else does it, 2). numbers talk.
Let's be honest, Anne's Hathaway's recent independent film, Rachel Getting Married, a film about a rich, white girl who ends up becoming an alcoholic, a role that got her nominated for best supporting actress, wouldn't do as well in Newark, NJ as it might in Chatham, NJ. Just as Friday or everyone of their sequels would have done better in Newark, NJ than Chatham, NJ.
Thus, why even distribute the film to an area whose audience would prefer a different film? Why waste that money? With modern technology and the influx of Ondemand and various other at-home ordering/viewing capabilities, the people who may have wanted to watch Anne Hathaway slur over her wedding toast and the people who wanted to watch Chris Tucker and Ice Cube smoke weed, can do so with ease and not cost Hollywood production companies millions in distribution fees.
I for one can't wait for this to happen because a few more summers of shitty, over budget, under developed films like The Proposal, Transformers 2, and Terminator 3 as the only options at the theatre, and I may have to pick up a new hobby. Maybe cycling...

7.13.2009

Things I Hate


Cyclists

Ever since Lance Armstrong (more on him later) lost his right nut, cycling has become the thing to do. I'm sorry, I seem to have lost the memo that said dressing up like Richard Simmons, wearing yellow bracelets, and taking up half the road was what all the cool kids were doing. Maybe it'd be alright if you didn't pretentiously refer to your exercise as cycling. You're not racing through the French Alps. You're riding a fucking bike in middle of Main Street. I beg you to get off the roads. Sidewalks were made for a reason.

Twitter

What is this world coming to? I turn on SportsCenter to catch up on highlights and the next thing I know, Stuart Scott is reading Dwight Howard's latest "Tweet". Maybe I'm just turning into my parents thirty years too early by rejecting new technology, but what's the deal with Twitter? Why the fuck should I care what music Lance Armstrong is listening to? Go take some more steroids, win your bazillionth Tour de France, and shut the hell up. Yea, you say that Facebook's just as weird and creepy. False. I know the people I'm friends with on Facebook and might actually be interested in what they're doing. I could care less what John McCain (yes, he has a Twitter) is bitching about next. Andy Milonakis knows what's up.

Could You Get It Up For...


MICHELLE WIE


Many blogs feature a question of the week or day. Here's what I've come up with. Female sports are pretty weak sauce all around. I'd rather lick my dog's anus (TASTY) then watch a WNBA game. But that's besides the point. The point is this: there are a lot of, shall I say, questionable women out there in the sports stratosphere. We'd all like to give it to Natalie Gulbis, obviously, but what about the other female athletes out there. The one's who, for all their athletic prowess, look, well, ordinary. This isn't a question of whether or not you'd go on a date with one of these athletes or if you'd marry her (for that chedda). The question is this: Could you get it up? aka Would you give it to this ay babay. First up: Michelle Wie.

Pros: Known for her light touch and gentle hands. Can handle clubs of all shapes and sizes. Has Asian roots. Inexperienced off the course (if you know what im sayin'). Knows how to get the ball in the hole. Long, long legs.

Cons: Has a nerdy lisp (who knows what this could transform to in the sack). Has Asian roots. Father keeps close watch of her. Very tall. Only 19 years old (will most likely be sober). Goes to Stanford.

I know my answer, but that's my dirty little secret. What do you think? Could you get it up for Michelle Wie?


Anthony Bourdain Is A Fucking OG


And he smoked that Kush. Food, booze, sexual innuendo, and a little of that herb sprinkled in, Bourdain's show, and my fav! "No Reservations," has got The Full Monty, so to speak. One episode shows Bourdain gettin lit with the rastafarians of Jamaica. BAMBA CLAT! Another episode shows him eating sheep's testicles in Morocco. There is, however, one constant: this show is straight comedy. Bourdain is a major-league wise ass who has no qualms about tearing Rachel Ray a new asshole while chain smoking heaters on national TV. Bourdain puts a light, endearing spin on food, the world, and life. He doesn't try to pretend to be some high class D-Bag who knows more about food than you. This man recognizes the realness, and then keeps it real all the time. This isn't a show about cooking, dawg, this is a show about life. Tonight's season premiere kicks things off in Chile (on the Travel Channel at 10). Parental Discretion IS Advised:



"Whoa Hombre! That is twelve freakin' inches of floppy clown shoe right there!"

"Lloyd, your love of cock is a huge asset to this company."



5 Quick Thoughts About Entourage's Season Premiere (if you didn't watch, peace the fuck out):

1. Last night's episode didn't blow my mind. However, in my burnt out state, the fact that it kept me awake was impressive. While the show certainly has its flaws (repetitive, Adrian Grenier can't act, etc.), it is still addicting as fuck. No matter what, you just find yourself saying, "damn, that looks aiiight, lemme get some of that shit." As in, I want to be rich, famous, in the sun, and in a hot tub with Jamie-Lynn Sigler.

2. The Lloyd subplot (becoming an agent) is a great move by the show's powers at be. Ari has always been the showstopper, the reason people really watch this show. And Lloyd has been one of the main reasons for this. Everyone loves a gay Chinese dude who dresses like Ralph Lauren. Big ups to Lloyd.

3. Not enough Ganja. Turtle is still Turtle. Coming from a lover of the leaf, the plant rules over pussy. No matter how good a ZJ Jamie-Lynn may give, one of the reasons people tune into this show is to watch Turtle ripping bongs with Bob Saget and acting like that friend that everyone has (you know, the one who asks too much questions, scares girls away, and always has that chronic...) Sound familiar? It's cool (although unrealistic) that Turtle's scorin big time, but don't ruin his character for the sake of some poonani. Please.

4. More Drama. Last night's episode didn't have enough Johnny Drama in it for me. Less Vince, more Drama. The show is called Entourage for a reason. It's magic is about the funny, quirky shit that goes on behind the scenes in Hollywood. We know Vince is gonna bang out chicks in cars and do whatever the fuck he wants. We never know what the fuck Johnny's going to say or do next.

5. Sloane is still a babe. Putting Sloane back into the mix is a power move. She's bonafied bangin, and adds a little bit of seriousness to the show. The message seems to be: is it possible to grow up in Hollywood. And I think this season is going to keep exploring that, to some extent, while hopefully keeping the laughter flowing with more of the above.

This song is fucking bangin':

Friendly Fires - Jump In the Pool (Thin White Duke Remix)


Classic Ari:

7.12.2009

Shutter Island

Scorsese. DiCaprio. Mark Ruffalo and Ben Kingsley. Filmed in Boston Harbor. Dope.



Tell me what you think--I feel like it has some potential.