Cyclists
Ever since Lance Armstrong (more on him later) lost his right nut, cycling has become the thing to do. I'm sorry, I seem to have lost the memo that said dressing up like Richard Simmons, wearing yellow bracelets, and taking up half the road was what all the cool kids were doing. Maybe it'd be alright if you didn't pretentiously refer to your exercise as cycling. You're not racing through the French Alps. You're riding a fucking bike in middle of Main Street. I beg you to get off the roads. Sidewalks were made for a reason.
What is this world coming to? I turn on SportsCenter to catch up on highlights and the next thing I know, Stuart Scott is reading Dwight Howard's latest "Tweet". Maybe I'm just turning into my parents thirty years too early by rejecting new technology, but what's the deal with Twitter? Why the fuck should I care what music Lance Armstrong is listening to? Go take some more steroids, win your bazillionth Tour de France, and shut the hell up. Yea, you say that Facebook's just as weird and creepy. False. I know the people I'm friends with on Facebook and might actually be interested in what they're doing. I could care less what John McCain (yes, he has a Twitter) is bitching about next. Andy Milonakis knows what's up.
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