12.23.2010

Andray Blatche Fucking Sucks


Andray Blatche has a wide open path to the hoop early on in last nights Wizards-Bulls game and promptly "does something Andray Blatche-y." That's French for crapping the bed and blowing a two-handed dunk. Blatche (3/14 on the night) was also whistled for one of three Washington technical fouls in the second half. Needless to say, the Wizards lost the game, which they were within two points in the final minute.


Blatche's quote: "After that layup, I knew it was going to be a long night -- and it was." Translation: "I was chillin' in Josh Howard'sEscalade listening to some Weezy before the game and I thought I could handle one more puff of that purple urkle. I was wrong." (Howard likes his herbal supplements.) Yeah, surrounding John Wall with Howard, Blatche, and Al Thornton (three notorious underachievers) was not a good move for anyone in D.C.


Blatche (who also got one of three technical fouls is, simply put, the worst player in the NBA to ever average 16.8 ppg and 7.7 rpg. Look at his eyes/demeanor/body language when he plays--there's something off. Or, as Jason Whitlock astutely pointed out during the Wizards choke-job last week against the Heat, Blatche is not the sharpest tool in the NBA's shed.


And really, what else would we expect from a man who's pumps Gilbert Arenas defecated in? What else would we expect from a man who wanted a triple-double so badly he begged Yi to let him get a rebound? What else would we expect from a man who solicited sex from an undercover cop? Nothing else. This has become Blatche's role: like Trinculo or Touchstone, Blatche has become one of the NBA's Shakesperian fools.


On the court, he's just as bumbling as he is off it. According to John Hollinger's PER stats (Insider only), Blatche is the 144th most efficient player in the NBA. For reference, J.J. Hickson and Drew Bledsoe are tied at 246. According to Hollinger's "Power Rankings," the 11-17 Philadelphia 76ers are better than the New York Knicks and the Orlando Magic. Sabermetrics have no place in the NBA. And Blatche's stats are as misleading as Hollinger's.

9.27.2010

Curing Your Case of the Mondays

I may be unemployed, but I'm not immune to a case of the Mondays. Low serotonin levels. Sore throat. Random bruises. Maybe a hickey or an unknown STD. The signs that generally define a weekend as a success or a failure. Or both. Either way, this video (part of a 3-part preview of DJ Russ Chimes' EP) featuring electrogasms by him, is the DJ's proverbial "what the fuck is up" to those that haven't heard of him. And at least you're having a better day than the bro in it...Although you definitely wish his chick was yours.



Yup...She could get it. That video is on some modern-day Othello shit right there. Old story, told in an innovative, dope way. Watch the rest.

Tunes to bro out to, blaze down to, or just nod your head incessantly:

This song could be called dreamlike, or just fucking awesome. This song will get you laid.

Paul-Shine Sweet Freedom

Fuck. Dance. Rock. Pick your poison.

Edward Maya ft. Alicia Stereo Love


Martin Solveig just does not mess around.

Martin Solveig featuring Dragonette - Hello (dank video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7uUL8ELhnp8&feature=fvst)

My only regret about going to Electric Zoo day one? Missing this drop day two. Video dropping soon.

Duck Sauce - Barbara Streisand (Fare Soldi Edit)

The only way to cure the Mondays? Sack up, strap up, and let the good times roll. God I miss college.