General Thoughts

1. I saw David Guetta the other night here in Barcelona and he did not disappoint. It was a sick venue and he definitely has some certified jams up his sleeve. There must have been at least 350 people in this club and it was clear that everyone was feeling what Guetta was laying down.


I'm hesitant, though, to say 'laying down' because if I'm not mistaken, he basically just parked his ass up there and played music he's already composed. Quite frankly (another expression I'm hesitant to use because it's associated with former ESPN analyst Steven A. Smith—that unnecessary middle initial stands for Ass-wipe in case you were wondering), that's fine with me because he has some ill songs under his belt, but I guess I would've liked to see some more improvisation. Whatever, it was sick. Here's a couple Guetta remixes that never get old:


Once the event ended everyone made their way right outside to the beach, which is just another amazing aspect of this city, along with the freedom to light up a j on said beach like it's legal.

2. The hookers here are brazen as hell. My friends and I were at an ATM and this ‘tute who looked like she had just stepped off a pirate ship came up and kept grabbing our arms. Not only am I not going to give you the D because I'm never going to stoop to that level, but if you're going to heckle us I might have to dump a beverage on your head.

After I told her to get away she informed me she'd "fuck me real good," as if that's going to convince me to pay her for AIDS. How about I give you my dick cheese and then you just keep trolling the street as before? Anyway, I'm not going to sit on here and rant about Spanish hookers but it's one minute annoying aspect of life here (the only one I've noticed at all). Here are two tracks about hookers from Weezy F:



3. On a more positive note, the street performers are dope. They are these really weird people that dress up in ridiculous costumes and pretend to be statues until you give them some change. Once you do, they make these really unique sounds with their mouths and move like robots. Real wizard.

Homeless people should try this stuff because it's definitely something you could pick up with practice and would earn you a ton more money. I feel like it would also be more enjoyable (this all assuming you are able) than simply withering away in the gutter with your hand out. We also saw a performer do a flip over 3 standing people. Yes, that just happened and it was nuts.


4. A brief warning. Don't ever read the novel Who Walk in Darkness by Chandler Brossard, which I picked up solely because of its supremely badass title and its documentation of the birth of the Hippie movement. It's actually piece of garbage that I’m considering just leaving in my hotel room or maybe giving to a homeless person, despite the fact it apparently received serious popularity in France. Just thought I'd spread the word so no one is subjected to this rubbish.