The NBA Draft (not quite as exciting as Dave Chapelle's racial draft) takes place this Thursday at Madison Square Garden. Every team hopes they will nab the next NBA superstar or snag the steal of the draft. Every team hopes they can avoid The Bust. Every Knicks fan knows that the player we take is either going to shoot himself in the leg or contract AIDs from a hooker within the next year. In what is being labeled as possibly the worst draft of all time, teams should follow one simple rule: take the best player available. Do not worry about how high someone's vertical is, how many illegitimate children they have, or what form they use on their jump shot. Go with your gut, and pick who your franchise feels is the best player available (like NFL teams almost always do). Do not pick someone just because they fit a positional need (see: Michael Olowakandi, Marvin Williams, etc.). In today's NBA, you want the most athletic and versatile player--not necessarily the biggest or strongest. You want someone who can create mismatches and can change the game. I read via my ESPN Insider an article about how Isiaah Thomas is, by the numbers, one of the best drafters ever. I'm not on Zeke's level, but I was so keen as to know that Oden over Durant was not the move. So without further ado, here are three guys that (all projected to go in the top 10), I sure as hell would not draft, pray the Knicks don't end up with, and have more bust potential than Asia Carrera:1) Hasheem Thabeet: AkA Hasheem Tha-Weak-Sauce. Is he as good (or as big) as Emeka Okafor was in college? No. Does he have any post moves? No. Will he be able to block shots against Dwight Howard (note: not Luke Harangody)? No. He also has the same body type as the guy from the Air Up There. Will he be able to stay out of foul trouble? No. Does he have an eating disorder? Debatable. The guy is a skinny little biatch who blocks shots against undersized white dudes. Think he's going to be able to stop nasty mofos like Ron Artest? NAA. Look at all the trouble Greg Oden has had making the adjustment to the league, playing against guys close to his size and a whole lot tougher. Thabeet isn't half the prospect Oden was, and while he has shown the ability to improve, he just doesn't do it for me. At best, he is the next Samuel Dalembert. At worst, well...the Candy Man!
2) Jrue Holiday (who many experts believe the Knicks may take): AkA Drew. What have you done for me lately, Ja-Rue. The spelling of his name is almost as whack as his game. The guy's biggest strength is "defense," because he has long arms. Can't you find a guy with long arms and good agility in like, the D-League? His range is about 12-15 feet, and he barely played point guard last year for UCLA. He did not do much in a down year for the Pac-10. Umm...This guy is going in the top ten? Really? He was invisible every time I watched a (shitty) UCLA team play. This is not the reincarnation of Russel Westbrook--Holiday is a MAJOR project and is more likely the next DaJuan Wagner (out of the league) than Chris Paul. DraftExpress lists this guys BEST CASE as Rodney Stuckey and his worst case as Mario Chalmers. Does not sound like a lottery pick to me...
3) James Harden: aka The Hard-On I get it--he's athletic, versatile, and the ULTIMATE TEAM PLAYER. Drafting a team player in the lottery (top 5 especially) is like walking up to a bar, and instead of going for the group of hotties, you go for the group that reeks of mediocrity, knowing you have a solid chance at netting a decent ay babay. With Harden, you have a solid chance of netting an average NBA player. That doesn't sound good enough to me for a lottery pick. You're going to draft a guy in the top 3 who is known for deferring to other teammates, had an abysmal NCAA tournament, has an ehhhh jump shot, and is only 6'5" (with shoes on). I like the guy and think he can stay in the league, but I do not see him becoming "the next Brandon Roy" or ever making an All Star team. However, he's going to be a great in Cialis commercials.
*I also would not draft anyone that Doug Gottlieb loves*
Akon is more of an OG than any of these fools will ever be:
(look at that man move!)
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