Is This Gay Or Is This Fratty: Rugby

Guardian : The rugby player Gareth Thomas has confirmed he is working with a writer on a film about his life which previous reports suggest could star the Oscar-nominated actor, Mickey Rourke. Rourke told Jonathan Ross he would like to play Thomas, who came out as gay in 2009, in a film.
Or: Every week Barstool U will feature a burning question that tortures the nation's future as they breeze through college: Is This Gay Or Is This Fratty?

LFrathard: Easy one here. Rubgy is queerer than a game of ookie cookie. You know who wore rugby shirts? Breckin Meyer's character in Road Trip. And that dude personifies a closeted douche who joins a team solely for the purpose of groping a man's balls without bearing the dicksqueezer label. You know why there's only been one movie about rugby that you've ever heard of? It's cause all the other ones are straight to Youjizz. If soccer is for queers than Rugby is for people who get arrested just because they want to discover what it's like to get your ass torched by Jamal at the look penitentiary. I thought rugby was gayer than a Village People themed mixer before I read about the Australian cocksmack who forced a dog to blow him. Now, I have no doubt that at least 10 percent of Rugby players are trapped in the closet with R. Kelly and Tom Cruise.

Rubgy? Uh, no thanks. I'm going to spend my Saturday sleeping in, ripping a bong, and watching SportsCenter. Then I'm going to get down with Tampico and vodka and blast Lil Wayne songs about making money. You have fun drinking at that pub drinking out of a dirty shoe while chanting about how you loved it when someones cleat accidentally reamed you during a grapple or whatever the fuck it's called. Fuck that frail shit.

Vote 10 if thinking about playing Rugby makes your anus bleed or 1 if Invictus made you want to run through a wall.

Here's an un-rugby like video of Wiz Khalifa (who's now sticking it to Amber Rose) being the man:

[Other potential topics: tweeting about how hard you're partying, Tapestries, communal showers, Justin Bieber (does he fuck chicks or not), listening to Miley Cyrus or Katy Perry at parties.]

Andray Blatche Fucking Sucks

Andray Blatche has a wide open path to the hoop early on in last nights Wizards-Bulls game and promptly "does something Andray Blatche-y." That's French for crapping the bed and blowing a two-handed dunk. Blatche (3/14 on the night) was also whistled for one of three Washington technical fouls in the second half. Needless to say, the Wizards lost the game, which they were within two points in the final minute.

Blatche's quote: "After that layup, I knew it was going to be a long night -- and it was." Translation: "I was chillin' in Josh Howard'sEscalade listening to some Weezy before the game and I thought I could handle one more puff of that purple urkle. I was wrong." (Howard likes his herbal supplements.) Yeah, surrounding John Wall with Howard, Blatche, and Al Thornton (three notorious underachievers) was not a good move for anyone in D.C.

Blatche (who also got one of three technical fouls is, simply put, the worst player in the NBA to ever average 16.8 ppg and 7.7 rpg. Look at his eyes/demeanor/body language when he plays--there's something off. Or, as Jason Whitlock astutely pointed out during the Wizards choke-job last week against the Heat, Blatche is not the sharpest tool in the NBA's shed.

And really, what else would we expect from a man who's pumps Gilbert Arenas defecated in? What else would we expect from a man who wanted a triple-double so badly he begged Yi to let him get a rebound? What else would we expect from a man who solicited sex from an undercover cop? Nothing else. This has become Blatche's role: like Trinculo or Touchstone, Blatche has become one of the NBA's Shakesperian fools.

On the court, he's just as bumbling as he is off it. According to John Hollinger's PER stats (Insider only), Blatche is the 144th most efficient player in the NBA. For reference, J.J. Hickson and Drew Bledsoe are tied at 246. According to Hollinger's "Power Rankings," the 11-17 Philadelphia 76ers are better than the New York Knicks and the Orlando Magic. Sabermetrics have no place in the NBA. And Blatche's stats are as misleading as Hollinger's.

Curing Your Case of the Mondays

I may be unemployed, but I'm not immune to a case of the Mondays. Low serotonin levels. Sore throat. Random bruises. Maybe a hickey or an unknown STD. The signs that generally define a weekend as a success or a failure. Or both. Either way, this video (part of a 3-part preview of DJ Russ Chimes' EP) featuring electrogasms by him, is the DJ's proverbial "what the fuck is up" to those that haven't heard of him. And at least you're having a better day than the bro in it...Although you definitely wish his chick was yours.



Yup...She could get it. That video is on some modern-day Othello shit right there. Old story, told in an innovative, dope way. Watch the rest.

Tunes to bro out to, blaze down to, or just nod your head incessantly:

This song could be called dreamlike, or just fucking awesome. This song will get you laid.

Paul-Shine Sweet Freedom

Fuck. Dance. Rock. Pick your poison.

Edward Maya ft. Alicia Stereo Love

Martin Solveig just does not mess around.

Martin Solveig featuring Dragonette - Hello (dank video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7uUL8ELhnp8&feature=fvst)

My only regret about going to Electric Zoo day one? Missing this drop day two. Video dropping soon.

Duck Sauce - Barbara Streisand (Fare Soldi Edit)

The only way to cure the Mondays? Sack up, strap up, and let the good times roll. God I miss college.

I Get High?

Stawberry Cough tastes mmm mmm good.

Okay I havent posted in mad long, the grind had me on lock down for awhile. Urrday im hustlin, nbd, naaamen. Anyway, I'm back and going to mainly post about music. I didn't think it was possible for a cover of this song to exist, succeed, and mix in an electro/dance vibe to it.

I Get High-Hostage : And I only smoke it if its purple or blue.

Oh Yeah (Booka Shade Remix) - Booka Shade is fucking too legit
If you don't recognize where this comes from, find a sharp metal object and sit on it. FERRIS!

P.S. The Red Sawx are a fuckin joke, sorry Shield.

Edwin Van Cleef

Edwin Man Queef makes some good music. I have to say I like his remixes much more than his own original works because the latter all come off as a little too alike. Each original song seems comprised of a pretty basic, fast-paced intro and then gradual emergence of a chick repeatedly singing a simple phrase. Regardless, I enjoy listening to them. Here are some keepers:

ProCon - Delia (Edwin Van Cleef Remix)

Edwin Van Cleef - I Want You

Edwin Van Cleef - Lovin'

Edwin Van Cleef - Overtaken

DatA - Rapture (Edwin Van Cleef Remix)

Bat For Lashes - Daniel (Edwin Van Cleef Remix)

A Matter of Time

A Mattter of Time - Mike Posner & the Brain Trust

This mixtape is by no means new, and you've probably heard a couple tracks (Cooler Than Me) but every track is tight as fuck. Bump this shit, run this shit.

Health Warning

While I don't like to rant about shit, these goddamn "health" drinks have taken it too far. They started off slow, but they have managed to take advantage of the all-of-a-sudden ridiculously health-conscious American populace, maybe even the world, and they are infringing on the greats. I'm talking about those stupid fruity drinks that pretend to be all healthy so people go bananas over them up even though they taste like ass.

First off, these drinks aren't even that healthy. Odwalla (cool name!) ran into serious problems when health officials determined that a 1996 E.Coli outbreak resulted from Odwalla's decision not to pasteurize their juices. Along those lines, a different pathogen that is known to severely affect pregnant women was discovered in an Odwalla plant in 1995. Vitamin water--which everyone goes gaga over nowadays even though Glacéau literally took Gatorade bottles, dumped out half, and then filled the rest up with tap water--is one of the worst things around for your teeth. You might as well just dump sugar in your mouth before you go to bed every night.

But see, the companies employ marketing strategies that people somehow fall for. They give the drinks pompous, unpronouncacble names so that people think they are made from some obscure super-healthy fruit, made in Europe, are fun to drink, or they just buy them because it looks healthy and the name disorients their brain (i.e. Glacéau, Odwalla, Fuze, Nakéd, Jamba Juice, etc.).

Or, in a similar move, they simply stick the word "smart" or some healthy word like "vitamin" or "mineral" onto it (i.e. Smartwater, Vitaminwater, Soy Smart, Fruitwater, P<3m) so that soccer moms and yoga instructors everywhere will think "Oh! Well that sounds like a perfect juicie for before my morning workout!" Fuze made a drink called Slenderize so naive fat people would buy tons of it and put on even more weight. Glaceau even had the audacity to stick "smart" on the front of a product, outright copying the move made over 10 years earlier by one of the best snack foods known to man. It's fucking cheese flavored popcorn!


The worst part is that these drinks are taking over. Don't think so? Which drink did you see all over the sidelines at March Madness games last spring? Vitaminwater. Not Gatorade, or Powerade, or anything like that, it was Vitaminwater. I went into a gas station today to buy a Gatorade for work and had to search high and low for it because I was blinded by a fucking huge Vitaminwater display that was set up like the drinks were artifacts or something. I swear managers see how many colors they can collect and cram into their shop, like the asswipe pictured above who collected so many he thought he'd take a walk on the wild side to turn it into a car. What a doucher. From the looks of it, that store can really only be in Alabama, Louisiana, or maybe New Jersey.

She Moves Too Fast!

Amazing. Ejaculate (as a noun). Beautiful. Splended. Trippy. Surreal. Fuck Yes.

We Are Not What You Think We Are

While Mika sounds like a bad version of the High School Musical cast, I have to thank him because his new single "We Are Golden" has been remixed by Calvin Harris and Don Diablo. I have a ton of respect for Don Diablo but I have to say that Calvin Harris takes the cake on this remix. Harris takes a corny British pop song and transforms it into something truly "golden". Here are both of the remixes but if you're only going to download one, go for Calvin.

"We Are Golden (Calvin Harris Remix)" - Mika

"We Are Golden (Don Diablo Remix)" - Mika

Happy Birthday Tom Green

Today is Tom Green's birthday, which is definitely cause for a celebration/post. He's done so much ridiculous shit I don't even know where to begin. Everyone has seen Freddy Got Fingered, "The Bum Bum Song", his show, etc. Apparently he currently hosts an internet talk show called Tom Green's House Tonight...yikes. Unbeknownst to many, he was a member of a rap group called Organized Rhyme, and he actually has some decent rapping skills. Happy Birthday Gord!

Tom Green in Stealing Harvard, though he isn't acting:



Honorable Mention Birthdays: Henry Ford, Buddy Guy, Ahnald Schwarzenegger, Christopher Nolan, Markus Naslund, Kevin Pittsnogle, Laurence Fishburne.